dance peanut

mother of a preeschooler

2011-09-28T17:49:00.006-05:00

this is my first mobile post. i will add photos later. i am the mother of a preschooler now. it is an interesting experience. e likes school, but it exhausts him. the 2.5 hours he is there leave him a tired sloppy mess by the end of the day. he does ok in school, but he is for sure still himself and very 3.5. the school teacher does timeouts, which we do not really do, but he does not seem bothered by them. even though i spend most of my time away from him at work, it is very strange knowing he is with other adults 5 days a week. i am still getting used to it, and so is j and so is e

adding photos:

right before we left to go.

skunk lesson

waiting for his name tag

Hair and other things

2011-06-17T15:54:00.005-05:00

Last post was kind of heavy. Things are still hard but I am trying to give us some space from my mother and enjoy our life with our friends, who are amazing. My son is also amazing, and I realize that more when I am away from my mother more and when I am not fighting to make him into someone or something that he isn't. the fact is, dinner out with your 3 year old on a friday night when you have to wait 40 minutes to be seated is never going to turn out well. Oh, and you have to wait outside on the sidewalk too, of course. And the wait followed an hour in the car.

Bah.

So he's great. But one thing that I didn't predict loving about him is his hair. I mean, I love his hair. He has perfect curls and lots of them. I dread cutting it for real when he (or we) decide it must be cut. Right now, we all love it, so though he is seen as a girl from time to time, the hair is here to stay.

curls

We have some fun plans for the weekend. In fact, E and J are out picking strawberries with some of our friends today. Then tomorrow we are going to this awesome looking circus demonstration and sunday a bbq at our friend in closest proximity.

In 2 quick weeks we are off to vacation, which is exciting and terrifying both.

Thanks again to everyone who offered kind words last post. I just got super down with all the stress.

Now, behold the boy.

sleeping off a fun morning, memorial day

party

family picture from the night we took e to dinner too late and just about lost our minds. We look good anyway...you'd never know.

Update

2011-05-31T13:02:00.006-05:00

Well, we moved from the hood to paradise, basically. Chicago style paradise, which doesn't mean hotdogs or super deep dish pizza, but we moved north in Chicago. We have a large back deck, a small yard, free heat and laundry, and we are steps (like 50 steps) from a giant, awesome, green expansive park. My commute is longer. It means I am on the bus an hour each direction every day. BUT, everything else is far far far better.

E. climbs trees now too. And he's really good at it. He was made for it! He can climb anything, this kid.

Work is not so good right now and hasn't been for over a month. I'm not sure when (or if) it will get better. I feel as if I must need to reexamine my career...but this isn't the time to do that as I need to have a job and at least it pays pretty well.

I'm getting a lot of pressure from my family about E's behavior. He is an intense kid who likes to push boundaries. We don't always know what to do about it. My mother seems to think he's going to be a bully and that we are to blame. It's very hard having him around her when she constantly is on him for every little thing he does. We have rules in our house, but they are not the same as hers. I don't know what to do about it, and every time we have to see her I worry for days about what he might do and what she might say. It makes me a very stressed parent. This week, my brother is in town, so I am extra stressed because we will be around them a lot. It doesn't help that E is 3, and that he's still adjusting to the move (we moved may 1st). Of course my mother swears that moving isn't a big deal and doesn't get why he's having a hard time. We moved a lot as kids, and she thinks it was easy for us. In my case, I know I was too afraid of her to seem like it was anything but easy. Also, our first move was when I was 8.

"Every kid is different, he's a bit more sensitive", isn't enough for her. Of course, this is the same mother who came down on me for holding him too much when he was a baby. Can you hold a baby too much?

I'm very sad and frustrated. Being a mom of a kid going through 3 is hard enough. It really is. I wish I had some support from her...but I should know that's not something I would ever get.

Here are some great pics from the weekend. Sorry to be such a downer. I just feel alone right now, and so much like I need to wrap my family up and take them far far away from her.

e and his "best friend" and cousin.

putting his hat out for candy

Read this

2011-03-23T10:51:00.002-05:00

I love this blog in general, but today's post was fully awesome. Read it, people.

http://ginsoakedolive.blogspot.com/2011/03/come-out-come-out-wherever-you-are.html

Faster

2011-03-21T15:03:00.005-05:00

e loves scooting! I took this action shot by snapping it before he was even on it.

this is my favorite picture of e right now. He's watching tv in this shot, the day before his 3rd birthday...but such an angelic look.

Ok....it's become obvious to me now that I suck and getting the blogs posted. Can I blame it on the job? Yes! Is it fair to say that having a 2 to 3 year old is a huge time suck? Yes. Would I change it if I could? Well, the job, yes...but not the kid. I mean who doesn't wish for a better job?

Well, little boots boy is probably happy with this job.

I work for a department at a University as an Assistant to the Head. It's a fancy sounding title, but I end up just feeling like e knob...like a pee-on, like a person who is helping someone else succeed in while at the same time not succeeding. I rarely write anymore....except for the job and that is not creative writing my friends, it is not at all. I rarely craft. I made E a doll for his birthday, but that's about it for the last year. I hardly even read blogs. I think it has everything to do with being too busy both at work and home. Obviously, blogging and reading blogs at work is a no no...though I might be doing it right now because it's spring break and no one is here, and at home, by the time E is asleep and I have cleaned the kitchen, I'm ready to watch one TV show and call it a night. That's it.

Night is a bit of a circus sometimes. It's hard for me to deal with in a rational way...I think because I'm so tired from working and then I have to just swing into high 3 year old gear and roll with the punches. And E is getting better at playing by himself, but he isn't the kind of kid you can turn your back on. He just might scale a bookshelf or find something he shouldn't have. He's gotten so tall that there is only one home surface he can't reach that I can reach. This has made said surface into a verifiable disaster area...as everything gets stuck up there that needs to get out of his reach. And if he has the idea to do it, he simply pulls a chair over and reaches the top and all the things on it easily. he knows he isn't supposed to do this, but sometimes, he does it anyway.

All of this is to say why I haven't blogged in a while. I just can't. By night's end I'm wordless...and wordless blogs are ok now and then, but it's not why I blog.

Now that I have that off my chest, I will let one other thing off and then I will update and go. I am still planning on making the give away winner her squirrel. If you still read this, please know that I think of it often.

ok....updates.
1. E was sick with stomach flu this weekend. He HATES throwing up. Even while he is doing it he says how yucky it it (yes, talks while the puke is coming out). I hate throwing up too, but I was impressed that he was able to talk while doing it. He said later that he wished it didn't have to come out of his mouth.
2. His 3yr old healthy boy visit found him 3 ft 1.5 inches tall and 31 pounds.
3. We live in a sketchy neighborhood and the other day I drove through a fight and someone tried to get into my car. I didn't mean to drive through a fight, it was just there.
4. As a result we are moving....though we were moving before that too...this just makes it even more important.
5. We just found out that E is pretty far down on every waiting list for every school we applied for him to go to...thanks Chicago Public Schools. We really needed more stress. We'll just send him to the neighborhood school where the fight was that I drove through.
6. I need to breathe and stop thinking the worst.
7. I'm tired of being run by our debt.
8. I've still only lost 20 lbs at wait w..atch.ers. I think I am going to juggle the money and just follow the program but use the money spent there to join the Gym here at school instead.
9. in the more than year since I have written: I had emergency surgery for a hernia, J's mom had a stroke, then J's mom had open heart surgery to repair a hole in her heart, my brother went to and came back safely from a non military mission in Afghanistan, e learned how to use the potty and now only wears a diaper at night, we moved and will move again, I took a new job at the university.
10. I have missed blogging but can't promise I'll keep up.

Have a good day...I'm going to try to do the same.

3!

2011-03-03T09:49:00.004-06:00

What I made him.

What we made him for cake.

home made dino pinata. Made by J. She rocks!

She made the crown too.

A constant theme...no time to post. But I will post these 3 year old pictures from E's party in case anyone still reads this. If you do read this, please comment. Thanks!

Still Alive

2011-02-11T14:05:00.003-06:00

I promise that I will post one more time before he turns 3 on 2/20/2011.
I miss blogging but am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO impossibly busy.

Trixie

2010-09-23T23:20:00.009-05:00

trixie before her new home, but after eating

trixie, after her first meal

I know I haven't blogged in a while, partly because it gets more daunting every day that I don't to actually do it. I feel impossibly behind and so I just avoid blogging. But something happened this week. And it's not even peanut related, really. So I will save a catch up post for next time, or never, and share with you the story of trixie...dumpster cat.

The other day I was driving down my alley minding my own business and ahead, I saw a man and a woman looking under a dumpster for cans. Now's a good time to say that our neighborhood is less than awesome. We like it, but we know that in reality its not as financially stable as where we lived before (huh, but isn't that true of us?). It's in transition (also us). So when people approach you and you are driving, it's best to just go on and pretend not to see them. I have a well practiced regretful head shake, and I can look right through people who come too close and won't back away. I can even add an eyebrow furl, puckered lips of regret for their situation. It works and keeps us safe/unbothered/isolated/etc, though suspect that I'm not fooling anyone and that as kind as I wish my expression of regret to be, I probably seem just too stuck up, too Bourgeois.

But, given my very skilled expressions, it came as a great surprise to me when the woman approached the car and stood right next to the drivers side window and lifted up her purse. Now you and I know that you do NOT open your window when a person you don't know walks up to your car and shows you something. Was she trying to show me drugs? If so, could she see I had a kid with me? Then I heard her say something I have dreams about, but have never heard before. "we found a kitten. Can you help us?"

A kitten? finger goes to let down window. "Can you help us?" me: "I can't have another animal" her, "please, we can't take care of it. It won't eat. There was another kitten too, but it died today." me: "oh no. Can you take it home?" the man now "we are homeless" me, in my head "shit." out loud: "oh, wow, sorry, can i see it?" Woman opens purse: a very small kitten meows from within. Yep that's a kitten. Not a gun or a knife or some drugs. Then the woman says, "i think its 4 weeks old. it won't eat." then they both continue to plead with me to take it, so I agree to. Looking for something to hold it in or with because it is filthy. The man says, "give her the purse. We found the purse too" the woman now, "I kinda wanted to keep the purse." Knowing I would only throw away the purse I said, "keep the purse. I can just hold it. Then she removes the thing from the purse, and the man offers a shirt he found in the trash which smells strongly of cologne and begins to hand it to me, but then pauses...."are you sure you can take care of it?" I say, "I'm a dog trainer. I will find it a home. Until then, it can stay with me." The man says, "give it to her. She has a kid." as if my mother-status would qualify me to care for a tiny little kitten. Then the woman hands it to me. And I have a kitten. I find a clean, but not 100% so (just food crumbs on it) cloth diaper in the back seat to wrap around the shirt. Then thank me and thank me and bless me and we drive away. Me, Peanut, kitty. She cries now. I thinks she must miss the woman, but this isn't even her last transition. I cannot have another cat. as much as I love kittens, I do not love cats all that much.

We bring the trembling kitty home and watch life come into it as it eats and eats a half can of wet food. It's incredible. Later that night, she is playful, not shakey, and on her way to her new home. The next day, she is named trixie. She weighs in at one pound.

The whole experience makes me glad to have a home. Glad to have a home for my animals. And glad for such a network of friends.

And although I must not update right now, I will post some peanut pics for those of you here just for those.

love this pic of peanut dancing.

boating this summer with uncle M.

feeding our chicken who lives with our friend.

saying goodbye to the beach, which is artificial and gets drained after labor day.

Knitting.

Oh, and if you're wondering, I have lost 17 lbs so far on w>eigh>t w. Almost 10% my starting weight. I feel awesome.

to blog or not to blog...

2010-08-12T12:11:00.004-05:00

that is the question

whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
in private the slings and errors of outrageous toddlers
or to take up blogging against a sea of diapers
and by reporting, clean them. to write, to post
no more -- and with a post we say we end
the headaches and the thousand natural shocks
our nerves are heir to -- tis a conversation
blogged as much as wished. to write to post
to post perchance to read. Ay there's the rub,
for in that post that's read what comments may come
when we have gathered all that we have said
is there some meaning? There's the respect
that makes meaning of the insanity of a day so long.
For who would bear the bites and kicks of life
the incessant repeating of elmo's song, the peed on opportunity
the pangs of despised love, the laws delay
the insolence of toddlers and the spurns
the patient cat who is unworthy takes.
When we ourselves might invite others to quiet us
with a honest blog post.

gotta start somewhere

2010-05-15T22:05:00.007-05:00

When i was a wee thing in catholic school I remember learning about the order of things. We had to memorize our house number, street, city, county, state, country, continent, hemisphere, planet, solar system, galaxy etc, and had to recite them on request. This occurs to me now because I'm so far behind, but I don,t feel like I can skip anything. It would mess up the order. I also think I need ti start with explaining what's going on with me before I can really go into what's happening with e. That is in an ideal ordered world, which I don't live in.

As I was walking to the computer last night, in fact, I ran into my son who had just gotten out of bed to tell me the room was too dark, but actually the heat emanating from his body and flushed cheeks told me something else...he had a fever. I did take him back to bed, J was at book group, but he stayed awake for over an hour. So much for writing. But I am writing now. Literally, its been an day of working and child care...and A certain bald 4 year old who's name shall not be uttered for the next 10 hours, at least...i hope. We don't usually let e watch much TV, but right now we feel he needs it when he is sick. he doesn't slow down on his own. So it was a long day of "I'm just a kid who's 4..."

He's sleeping now and so is J. when i blog i often get very tired. Its because the light right here is poor. So I'm working in a dark corner and can hardly read the keyboard. I try to stay awake by eating snacks and drinking decaf coffee, which isn't healthy but leads me to one update.

1. I am joining weight watchers this week.

I tried lots of other things and can't stick with them...but a recent realization that I'm much bigger than I used to be (recent, more like constant nagging). I usually put myself last, but I know that is no good for heath.

me about 10 years ago...finding this picture was a wake up call.

me post half marathon.

me now.

its not even so much how I look, though Im not happy with that. It's also that I have so little that fits me well and I dont feel strong and healthy anymore. so anyway...i know this is a superficial post, but its one of my updates. I have so much more but it's 1 am, j is sick now too, and I need to get the last of the chores done.

Thanks for reading.

I'm coming back

2010-05-13T11:59:00.005-05:00

and I have a lot to update on. Big life stuff. not much (any) crafting, but lots of other things. If you ever read me, please keep me on task to do this update. I feel like I need to blog. Even if I don't have time to very much anymore.

E is 2. and so smart and so fun. Here is a picture of him. He's changed so much.

he did his own hair here, and ate too much sugar.

a visit to the zoo during our week on our own, that's for the update, but i love this picture.

also from our week on our own. He's walking the dog and dressed in an outfit of his own design.

Us saying goodbye to mama.

Kicking back in jammies in the yard on st. pats day.

Happy birthday peanut!

2010-02-21T14:59:00.003-06:00

On February 20, 2008, the amazing peanut came into our lives. I am ever grateful for him. I love him more than anything.

I'm posting from my itouch, so this may(will) be a bit brief. But I still wanted to mark the day after his birth as a day to remember.

Pics soon. But I can't do those from here. Can I?

birthday cake face

moms and peanut

trains with cousin k

at the MSI

Hernia, furloughs, birthday countdown, and where the hack i've been

2010-02-17T10:43:00.006-06:00

could they BE any sweeter?

Ok. So I've been away forever. Literally. Well, literally, a month. it feels like forever though. I've been away trying to work more efficiently at my job. That means no blogging at work. Would I actually ever have blogged at work? guilty. yes.

Because i work for a state university that is struggling through a financial crisis right now, I decided my job wasn't so much of a sure thing anymore. Why do I think this? well, it's a combination of them telling us so AND the furlough. We are all being furloughed 4 to 10 days. Thus the never blogging. That coupled with the fact that I've been doing more hours for the dog training and also coupled with the fact that my little baby is quickly approaching his 2nd birthday (which means a lot, but it means he's taking off in all kinds of directions). Link with that the fact tat J has been sick a bunch, her job ended so I'm working more hours and we're trying to sell stuff to make up or a 2 source income loss (furloughs and a lay off).

Then on Thursday of last week, something more happened. I woke up with a bad stomach ache. I felt bloated and sore al at once. Looked at my stomach and low and behold, I had a lump protruding from underneath my belly button. What the? I suffered through it Thursday. made an appointment with a new Dr. for the beginning of march and carried on. In discomfort. I also had a cold. I was coughing a lot. Every cough hurt. Went home. told J. She was like, well, maybe you should see a Dr. before that. I thought, eh, maybe. Friday. more pain. larger lump. Ok. So I went to the er to find that my suspicions were correct. I had an umbilical hernia. My brother had one too, last year, so I guess it must be genetic. They tried to push it back in. OUCH. When they couldnt, they decided to admit me and correct it surgically. Great.

What does this mean? Well, it means a lot o things. I'm on sick leave for the week. I am recovering from minor abdominal surgery. I get lots of rest, lots of olympics. I have a more normal looking belly button than I've had in years (see, it was looking funny for a while. it just started with the hard lump on Thursday).

Oh, and I can;t pick up anything heavier than a gallon milk carton for 6 weeks. E. is about 30 pounds. Which means J is on duty 24 7 and i can only talk to him. and kiss him. it's very hard. He's a very physical kid, and I find myself really missing him.

His birthday is Sat. and we have J's parents coming from MN. My mom and fam (who have been great through all this hernia business) will come too. But that's it. Small party. I can't believe he's going to be 2. He talks like crazy now (4 to 6 word sentences) and uses the potty a little. He knows when he has to poop, but has a hard time with pee. Sometimes he makes it to the potty, sometimes not. But every time is a win. And we're not in a huge hurry at all. We have switched to disposable diapers till I'm better. I'm the diapers washer, and J doesn't need that to add to her duties. The laundry is in the basement. Sorry environment.

Well this post is everywhere. For real, I hope that the promised squirrel will be done this week. I've been pretty remiss, but also, pretty overwhelmed for as long as I can think Sorry Leslie. I hope you still feel like a winner and are still reading.

Some recent cute pics!

table surfing. kid loves to climb

cousins

Hope

2010-01-15T12:17:00.005-06:00

I have too much going on to write right now, but I wanted to put this out to any crafty people out there. Also to anyone who likes to buy handmade crafts. There is a website and an etsy shop that is donating 100% of it's proceeds to Doctors without Borders for Haiti. I am going to make some stuff for the shop. I'll letcha know more when I actually get it done.

for now visit the store and the site. and do what you can.
http://crafthope.com/2010/01/craft-hope-for-haiti/

let me never forget how safe and lucky I am.

Holiday 09

2009-12-28T13:49:00.006-06:00

wa hoo. that's what this amazing toy santa brought is called. If you have a kid this age, get one.

December 28th

Well, I've been away from blogging for a while and part of that is to do with the utter lack of time and the preponderance of things to do. But it's also because I've been on a digestive rollercoaster since Christmas eve....maybe before. Maybe my body is looking out for me so I don't overdo it on cookies and candy, but I can't eat much. At around 2 AM Xmas morning, while I was sewing a doll for my mom I could no longer deny I felt bad. What happened next was a 12 hour hell fest of many visits to the porcelain deity, constant nausea, and well, we had to un-invite my family over. We had to cancel christmas. Not for the almost 2 year old, but for everyone else. I haven't felt this sick in a very long time. Given the fact that I was under the weather for a few days, I am sure it was a bug. But it was a lot like food poisoning.

Despite all that, I managed to make some great stuff, most of which I forgot to photograph. I'm still working on the felt nativity set for peanut. Made of felt and fabric scraps. I made my sister a glasses case, quilted, to protect her sun glasses, and my mother an art yoga doll, which she was a bit surprised by at first...not in a good way. The hedge hog for my sister my law, a shirt for my brother.

my brothers bills shirt that i made, by request!!

the hedgehog pin cushion...if you've been reading for a while, you know this is a long time coming.

BLOG POST interrupted..........picked up again 12-31....................by the flu. Seriously, while I was writing this, peanut woke up. I tried to go get him back to sleep, but he was fussy, and I got him up. Moments (and I mean moments) later, he threw up all over me and all over the living room rug. Now I was just recovering from the Xmas stomach flu. So I'm surprised how well I handled it. Also I was surprised at the volume. O Man.

Today was his first day back in the OK.

He lost weight, was really sad and threw up a lot. Worse yet, J came down with it a few hours later. So not one but 2 sick people in the house.

So I hope you all forgive me for bowing out of blogging until January. I have to get to wrk on the big craft of the xmas season. Stay tuned for that.

but before I go, I will say that the peanut has a verbal breakthrough. He talks all the time. His cute new thing though is to call himself peanut. And he says it so cutely.

Birthday Blog

2009-12-22T08:09:00.004-06:00

Depending on my day, I might add more to this throughout the day.

Today is my birthday. I'm 36. I'm going to tell you 36 things about myself. You may already know them. You may not.

Here goes.

1. I was born on 12-22-73 at 22:22 hours.

2. I was born in Buffalo, NY

3. At sisters Hospital

4. during Hee Haw

5. i cried a lot as a kid

6. you might say I had a hair trigger temperament

7. i loved rudolf and santa

8. and my family of course

9. except my brother.

10. just kidding. i loved him too.

11. we are 14 months apart. every day with my son i realize what a big deal that is

12. since i was born my family has owned 5 dogs.

13. 2 died young. one of bloat. one of a collision with a car.

14. the collision with the car is one of my earliest memories.

15. i loved horses as a kid

16. and unicorns

17. i had a toy unicorn name uni.

18. it seemed like the perfect name

19. I also had a gazelle, named zelly

20. i was OBSESSED with the A-team

21. i was Face.

22. if you know the A-team you got that, if you don't, watch some A-team

23. I also loved bambi

24. and E.T.

25. i still love e.t.

26. we moved to NC when I was 8

27. where i acted out the A-team on a regular basis

28. you could say i was a tomboy

29. when I was 9.5 we moved to MA

30. When i was 11 we moved to germany

31. i was obsessed with the a-team still. also horses.

32. i rode my bike constantly

33. started to have boy friends

34. learned to play the flute

35. i tend to remember lots of childhood details

36. but i don't remember much about yesterday....

no time, just a little holiday cheer

2009-12-17T12:46:00.003-06:00

a tree!!!!

I mean it...I don't have time. I'm in the midst of seeking career advancement, christmasing, mothering a very needy toddler (needy in a good way, he's just got a lot going on right now)

We are so far from being done with christmas decorations and gifts that i feel a little sick thinking about it. But that might be the chocolate i just downed too....can you say sugar high?

The squirrel design is coming slowly and sorry leslie, is kinda on hold until after christmas! hope you're still reading and not disappointed. I've scrapped a couple designs because they didnt seem cool enough.

Last weekend we got a tree, at hmo dpoe. Twas fun and easy and less stressful and expensive than a treelot. That doesn't stop me from feeling a little bad about getting a tree from a big box store...i mean we are a diy christmas family, but we just can't afford a nice tree from a lot or nursery and we can;t do the driving to the country this year, which we have NEVER done, for the record. Last year, since we were out of town from the 2oth to the 27th, we didn't get a tree at all.

E. is loving the tree. He says hi to it every day. We just got the lights on it last night, so it's not even decorated yet. It smells great. Just not as far along as it was, pre baby.

Hope you all are staying sane. I know we aren't.
some christmas pictures

smile for the camera!

where?

2009-12-09T13:39:00.007-06:00

lights from our adventure at the zoo.

I've been completely remiss of late, not posting, not commenting. It's like I did the 30 posts in 30 days challenge (I think I did 29) and then i dropped away with little else said. I've actually been quite busy. That's the reason for my absence. Quite busy, and some of the things that fell off behind my blogging efforts needed to be caught up on. Like folding laundry. and other stuff. Seriously, i've barely even been on facebook.

So what has been going on? Our staycation was awesome. Then it ended and the week that followed was hell on wheels. Just busy and too fast. Peanut has decided to nurse all the time again. And is going through a Mama period, so I miss him, but I know it will change eventually. I just get a few fewer hugs and cuddles.

He had a well baby appointment and that was good. He is 26 lbs now...and I forget all the other vital information. He got a DTP booster and didn't even cry. Just looked at it, and then at the nurse. Said owie. He got a bandaid and that was it. J had to work so I had to take him myself. The hardest part was getting his weight and measurements since he didn't have time to transition into the room. He kind of freaked out because he was afraid. Poor guy. He made it, but he didn't like it. He did have a rather swollen spot on his leg from the injection for a few days. It went away and he seems fine now. oh, and aparently he has an extra tooth. Anyone ever hear of such a thing? It's coming in a little sideways between 2 other teeth. Good times.

This weekend, E's cousin K (who is 5) came over and stayed the night on Saturday. That was fun, as e loves his cousin. I feel bad though, because e beats on k, and k is so nice and well behaved he never fights back.

Other than all that, and folding long ago cleaned laundry, I've been working out some sketches for the squirrel. It's fun making a squirrel. My dogs loves them. I may have to make her one too.
I've also been making a lot of bread. If you want to feel like a total kitchen genius, learn how to make "artisan bread in 5 minutes a day". It's Delicious and super easy.

Ok, I'm supposed to be doing something else. I better get to it.
Thanks for reading and understanding that I'm busy!! I'll try to post more again soon.

evolution? or just another human?I love this human!!

hugging the baby gorilla

Thanks for calling me out of my cave of silence, Kristen!! You look great!!!

The Winner

2009-12-01T22:27:00.004-06:00

So the random number generator picked .....................................

drum roll..........................................................................................................................

Leslie!!!! I know, I'm excited too. Leslie wants a squirrel. No problem. I'm on it! Congrats Leslie.

For everyone else, sorry and thanks for reading and playing!

I really want to take a stab at making each of your ideas because they are so cool.

I have lot to say but I'm going to leave early today and catch up later.

i (nearly) did it

2009-11-30T23:58:00.001-06:00

i missed a couple of posts, but I do have close to 30 posts in 30 days.. Yeah me.

The Give Away

2009-11-30T00:00:00.000-06:00

You have about 12 hours to enter the give away if you havent yet. The winner will be announced tomorrow night. I know you all can't wait. I'm looking forward to making the cool thing that you tell me to make!

If you're reading this and youre like, whats she talking about go here: Click me!

Holiday Spirit

2009-11-28T23:55:00.006-06:00

me (looking puffy) and e: he wanted to get down

So I have a long weekend, and we have really been taking advantage of it. Yesterday we went to the Christkindlmarket downtown for some delicious wine from a boot.

Peanut enjoyed the fact of (though not the length of time on) the train we took to get there. The market itself was very crowded, and it was too crowded for our very walkie toddler to be walking. But we had promised him he would be walking and not in the ergo the whole time, so once we got someone more clear, we let him walk. That was when we found an awesome sax player playing some great festive tunes. As is often the case (or always the case) he had his case open for folks to put money in. I gave the peanut a couple quarters. He shyly put them in, sneaking up and then back again, and then he asked for more. i gave him another, same thing. then i was pretty much out of money. so he says more, does the sign for more, and jumps up and down. So i say to him, knowing it's the wrong question, more music? He looks me flat in the face, no, more Money!

it was really cute.

today we went to the free zoo. it was awesome. we went late in the afternoon and lucked out because it was also the first night of zoo lights. So much fun. I think this christmas is going to be awesome. Watching p watch and experience the world is probably my favorite thing about being a mom. We want to make the lights at the zoo a yearly tradition. I will post pictures from that later.

another cute cousin shot from turkey day

sleep is for the weak

2009-11-27T23:30:00.006-06:00

that's what peanut said yesterday, at nap time. Oh, he slept....but only for about 20 minutes.

the beautiful start to a very short nap

Then he was up up up to party.

We went to my moms. A first in many years. We usually go to Detroit but the people we see there, J's fam, moved too far away to visit at thanksgiving.

Dinner at my moms went better than I thought. E melted down a bunch, but when you skip a nap, that happens. He was super cute with his cousin and ate turkey, which is a big deal because he doesn't like meat very much.

yyyyyyuuuuuum!

with the cousin

This good holiday makes me feel cautionarily optimistic about christmas. We are in town for both holidays this year. certain people i know who d not live in my house are a little stressie and sad at christmas, but it comes out as anger.

hard day

2009-11-24T22:47:00.003-06:00

today was so hard it felt like a monday. to top it off, it rained all night making my poorly designed bus commute home quite soggy, and annoying. without going into detail, I'll just say that sometimes things come up at work that are difficult to address and they become a headache for me. What I dislike --oh come on, Sarah-- what I hate the most is when an emergency comes up at 4 and i have to fix it before i go. many of you who read this might be thinking i have a poor work ethic. I might. I might. But that's only because I want to be home with my fam. But at any rate, I did stay at work late and then I had my usual hour plus commute. got to see the peanut for about 40 minutes before bedtime.

I really have to get cracking with my crafting. I have lots to make.

still no poptarts

The Give Away

2009-11-23T22:47:00.006-06:00

Well, one more long day down the hatch. Mondays are the days I teach dog class after working at the office. i love it, but it makes for a long day. We have an extra dog with us for the week too. He's a cute guy, but more on edge, and barks at the drop of a hat.

I have a lot of folding to do, but I want to remind you to make sure you sign up for the giveaway if you want to win an awesome thing. click here

I'm not sure blogging every day counts when what you blog says so little.

So We have a pretty simple life, and we always try to make e's room fun. Here are some pics from one corner of his room.

piano we found in the trash and a sweet chair and xylophone

hiding house from a box we found in the trash. e likes to hide in it

snakes, from e's birthday. Ssssss. they hang out in the house

ssssnake party favors. recycled knit kids clothing.

Another weekend

2009-11-23T00:02:00.004-06:00

As the weekend comes to a close, and I sit here, sleeping baby in bed with the start of a cold, Sleeping partner on the couch, surrounded by clean but not folded laundry, i wish we had another weekend that started tomorrow. Alas.

I'm sure everyone hopes for such things.

I made bread today and mixed up a new batch for the week. I really enjoy making bread.

Oh, and I don't know if any of my readers use cloth diapers, but if you do, have you ever had a problem with leaking? Ours are suddenly not very water proof. Which sucks a lot.

We were lucky enough to have warm weather again today. Walking without a heavy coat in mid november is fabulous.

Alright.

could i free associate more than this?

Nigh-nee

2009-11-22T14:44:00.005-06:00

Well, I missed a day, a whole day, even though I was planning very much to write last night. I had a good day, a very good day. Woke up too early with peanut and he had a bad night of sleep. Poor kid's teething right now. He has a tooth coming in between 2 others that already exist. It has less room than it needs but it's making room, as teeth do. It is making his nose itch all the time though and I think it's disrupting his sleep. Anyway, woke up early and crabby, but J let me go back to sleep for a nap which was just what I needed. So that helped my day be awesome. Then we all went for a fun walk. Then I got a hair cut, a good one, a really good one, which is hard for me. Some of you probably know what I mean. I want to walk out looking hip and cool, but I walk out looking like dorothy hammel. I walked out looking a lot cooler this time.

So why didn't I write last night? Well, peanut woke up before I could. And I could get him back to sleep, but he woke up every time I left him again. It's the teeth, I'm sure. We just had to call it an early night. I woke up freezing and in my jeans and sweater at 1am. Reminded me of newborn days.

So E has lots and lots of words now, but one he's had for a long time is this one that he seems to have made up. And more than that, it seems to be an expletive, a curse word. And it cracks me up. The word is Nighnee. He says it in distress when he's sad, or frustrated, he says it when he can't get something to work right, he says it when he stubs his toe or hurts himself in a minor way. Other than comic relief for his moms, it got me thinking about how we need expletives or how we use them to feel better. I just saw an article about this the other day.

Do your kids have one or 2 choice words like mine does?

in other news, we are not trying hard to potty train, though we encourage potty use. And e used it twice (both for pee) yesterday. And today, twice too, so far, with one of each.

Ripple Effect

2009-11-20T23:00:00.003-06:00

I don't post about her often, mostly because I like to respect her privacy. But she gave me a beautiful son, she shares her life with me, takes care of our son while I work, and in the meantime is amazingly talented. She supports and encourages my creative endeavors, but has a whole bunch of her own. There is the novel of course, but this post is dedicated to her crochet. Before e was born, she made him a blanket. And just recently she made me one too. They are ripple blankets and so warm and cozy. They are not easy to make and crochet is time consuming. Each color is carefully planned and executed. And I love that it brings her joy to make them, since they take a long time to make and are luxury.

here they are:

e's

mine before it was done

e in his kitchen. a $15 yard sale find. Yep, she found it. See, amazing.

Impressive, very impressive

2009-11-19T23:47:00.005-06:00

mommy & e one Sunday morning

Well first of all I want to say thanks to those of you who are taking part in my give away adventure. It means a lot to me. Other than wanting to thank you for reading my blog, I think that the giveaway is a chance for me to do what I've been meaning to do for some time...invent my own pattern. If you haven't signed up, there is still time! Details?

What's this about impressive? Well, J inspired me to do the post everyday thing because she undertook the NOV challenge to write a 50,000 word novel. She started nov 1st and she has ALREADY exceeded that goal. So yeah j!!

in an abrupt change of subject, we are hand making a lot of gifts this year,and I've been researching patterns. How cute is this? I totally want to make it for e.

Walking

2009-11-19T00:08:00.004-06:00

the peanut point

E and I have been taking nightly walks again. The difference now, is that instead of riding him on my back, he walks (or rather runs) with me. He's so funny too, as he just starts out with an announcement "i run." And in true peanut style, he then points to me and winnie, "run?"

It's been raining on and off here, and that creates one of his favorite things: puddles. He looks for them and stomps in them. Water? Puddle? Then he points to me. Wants me to step in them too. When we run out, he says and signs "more." This is all while holding winnie's leash, of course. Remember this? that was the beginning of him walking the dog. Now he always has to have it either tied to his stroller, or in his hand while he walks. I have second leash and I hold a leash too.

It's one of my favorite things we do together. I love having a baby.

Don't forget to get the word out about the giveaway!!

Give it away give it away give it away now

2009-11-17T22:34:00.005-06:00

Ok. For all my readers, yes, even you, I am offering a super fun for me and you (yes, you) giveaway. Not familiar with the concept giveaway on a blog? It's simple, I offer something, and you all, all my readers, you all comment, post about the give away on your own blogs, sign up to follow me, that kind of stuff (full details below) and on a given date (in this case, December 1st) a winner will be announced. Winner will be picked randomly.

Now, why is my (MY) giveaway special? Well, I'm giving you the chance to tell ME what YOU want. That's right. But wait...it's not, "i want an eye-phone." the giveaway will be a dance peanut softie and this gives you chance to think up a softie you want to see, and have me take a swing at creating it.

Winners will be selected randomly. You have to enter to win.

several ways to enter.

need some ideas? ask your kids, tell me your dream monster, think of a ridiculous combination (cat-horse or, um, elephant-fish --you know a fishaphant)

what the hecks a softie?

where's peanut? you're sweet to ask. asleep right now, but here he was in a leaf pile.

How to enter the "Dance Peanut Softie Adventure Giveaway":

1. Comment on this post and leave a detailed suggestion for a softie, for ex.: "wow sarah! I'm so excited about this giveaway that I wet my pants. Please make a rhino, a pink one."

a comment will give you one entry

2. if you Follow me that will give you 1 MORE entry. (but only if you comment. I wont know what to make you, otherwise.

3. Post about this Dance Peanut Softie Adventure Giveaway on your blog and that will get you 2 more entries.

So you could have a potential of 4 entries!!! right now, based on current comment trends, that would really make you have an unfair advantage, dear reader. But i won't tell if you won't tell.

full disclosure: since i started posting every day, I have felt a need to receive more comments than i generally do (oh, seeker of approval). I'm hoping this giveaway will bring quiet readers out of the woodwork and will also draw more readers to my blog.

And for those of you wondering, still no pop tarts. Today was hard but my resolve was strong.

thrifty

2009-11-16T23:12:00.006-06:00

My girl is thrifty. She finds awesome finds at thrift stores and they become parts of our lives. True, we have more stuff than we need, but this is true of many people in america. Well my thrifty goddess found this for $1.50 at the thrift store sunday. just the house...no furniture.

I was reading finding chaos, and they were also talking vintage toys. I have such vivid memories of my fp play sets. I love playsets.

I am too tired to talk bout them right now. But I plan to.

I'll just say, i almost hit a deer tonight and I'll be announcing my giveaway on wednesday. So stay tuned.

Leaves

2009-11-15T23:01:00.000-06:00

So e and I raked leaves this morning and he loves leaves. He loves jumping in them, throwing them, filling buckets with them...everything! We ran out of bags so more fun will ensue next weekend I'm sure. Here's a cute pic of our fun time. I love how focused he is!

I am not sure what else to say right now other than that I'm in the planning stages of a giveaway of a craft. So stay tuned. For real. It's the kind of giveaway that you don;t want to miss. Let's call it, choose my own adventure. That's right. Oooooo, you're going to love it.

thwartsville

2009-11-14T23:23:00.008-06:00

i do, i do....i do, i doooooooo.

thwart

1. To prevent the occurrence, realization, or attainment of: They thwarted her plans.

2. To oppose and defeat the efforts, plans, or ambitions of

Today, I had an early appointment training a dog. I got all parked and got my stuff, went in the trunk to get my alternate bag, set my keys in my bag(thinking literally, "i will bring this bag"), decided 3 moments later I didn't need said bag, forgot keys were in there, closed the hatchback went into front of car again, locked the doors, began to walk away, realized I wanted the bag afterall, reached in pocket for keys, and remembered location of said keys. Thankfully, I had my phone, so I called j right away and she and peanut hopped on a bus to meet me. pretty thwarted. I went to my appointment and it was good. I got out and J and e were just about there. so I met them walking, got the biggest hug ever from e.

The reason I feel like I'm in thwartsville now is in part due to a general sense I've built up all day.

Like right at this moment, I'm trying to blog and I'm having a hard time. i'm sleepy and hungry, but before that I had to feed the dog, before that the cat was pestering me, before that the baby had woken up and was having a hard time getting comfy again. All of that started to happen as soon as i sat down to blog.

other thwarts arts of the day?

little old ladies at the grocery store in front of every thing i needed

peanut tried to thwart everything

ok' I'm actually dozing between lines. I'll post more tomorrow.

foto story friday: fall frollic

2009-11-13T23:28:00.006-06:00

c'mon!

this way!

a buck!!

cool, i climb

yeah!

help from mommy is good too

and mama

under, i fit

another deer, time to rest against this tree

not right now

2009-11-12T23:36:00.004-06:00

today, i don't even know what it was an answer to at the time, Peanut answered a suggestion or a question (i think it was, lets get your diaper changed) with the phrase :

"not right now."

He's been using a lot of phrases lately, in fact, and the first use always catches me in a flutter of pride and excitement, as it should. I don't know much about language devel

opment, but I do know that I love when he tries to say new things.

That's all true, and the hyper parent in me is thinking where did he learn that phrase and does it indicate that we are too dismissive? Do we make him wait too long when he shouldn't have to? I do know that sometimes he makes a crazy request or suggestion, like wants to go visit his bff in the middle of the night, and we say not right now. Then he says 'tmorrow?'

yes baby. tomorrow. Or no baby, next week.

cold baby after picking apples a few weeks ago.

day 3 of pop tart challenge, ok!

making a statement on a very good day

2009-11-11T23:16:00.002-06:00

I think that blog title says more than I think it will prove to be. In other words, not sure i can live up to it.

First off, I had a great day. I saw two (one at lunch and one in the evening) disabled performers. I work for a disability organization that looks at disability not as a problem with the person but as a problem with society. It's a perspective that I find really meaningful (i work there, afterall) and empowering for people with disabilities. Think about it, when society treats you like you have a problem (lets say, maybe you can't walk) that could be cured if you consulted the right drs, or if not cured, then managed to the point that you'd be all aok to be around people who don't have the problem, just as long as you don't cause any problems or fuss around too much. And also, it would be nice if you would work and not just live off of society, but too bad you can;t since you can't drive. I guess the key point in there is, a medical approach to disability is to cure it or manage it. A social approach looks at society, and the environment and says, well, wouldn't it make people with disabilities more independent if there were elevators at the train so they could take the train to work, and stuff like that. Anyway, I think I'm rambling. The point is, I saw 2 performers today, David Roche and Terry Galloway. They were amazing.

so there is that.....but

I'm also feeling pretty upset because j is in a moms group, a rather big one and they have a message board, and there was recently and outpouring of admiration and appreciation for an author who is anti gay, anti gay marriage and anti gay adoption. There was discussion about how "sux she's that way but love her marriage advice" and J was like, um, maybe not, and maybe there is something more to explore here. And some members her uncool about that and made my poor J feel bad. And I'm mad about it too. i mean really? what would they say if the author was a racist?

I also don't like anyone to feel sad, especially not my girl, so i feel extra upset about it.

day 2, no pop tarts.

blogging AND crafting

2009-11-10T23:24:00.004-06:00

Yes, that's right. I am making a stuffed elephant (wee wonderfuls) and blogging at once.

while I was cutting it out, my least favorite part, I made up a little rhyme about it.

josie my cat standing on the cut pieces

E's friend P turned 3

so I am making it for she

soon you will see

this elephant by wee.

sewn by me

here they are, complete pictures. Cell phone quality, but you get the picture:

and day one without pop tarts went off without a hitch...which is to say, I didn't eat any.

giving up

2009-11-09T22:54:00.003-06:00

pop tarts

they are my current weakness. I struggle with my weight a bit and hearing your ideas, along with some not so deep searching, its an easy first step...eliminate the pop tarts. I remember when this habit began..they stare at me through the glass, taunting, no, inviting me with their "good source of vitamins and minerals" claim. they are also a good source of too many calories and sugar.

How many calories? How much sugar?

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 1 pastry

Amount per Serving

Calories 200

Calories from Fat 45

% Daily Value *

Total Fat 5g

Saturated Fat 2g

10%

Cholesterol 0mg

Sodium 210mg

Total Carbohydrate 36g

12%

Dietary Fiber 1g

Sugars 19g

Protein 3g

Vitamin A	10%
Vitamin C	0%
Calcium	0%
Iron	10%
Thiamin (B1)	10%
Riboflavin (B2)	10%
Niacin (B3)	10%
Vitamin B6	10%
Folic Acid (Folate)	10%

Est. Percent of Calories from:

Fat 22.5% Carbs 72.0%

Protein 6.0%

yeah, and in case you're wondering, I ate 2 at a time. 2.

That's done.

over.

Sorry for the boring post.

I just wanted to declare tomorrow the start of no more pop tarts. Stay tuned for updates of my success and struggles!!

Perfect Fall Day

2009-11-08T22:25:00.003-06:00

Here in Chicagoland, as everywhere, I think, the weather has been crummy since, well, for a while. We had a mediocre summer, a crummy start to fall with very cold temps and lots of dismal rain. My backyard is a mud pit. When I say that, and I mean dismal, it rained for days, it makes what I am going to say next all the more meaningful. This weekend made up for everything!!

Made up for the days as dark as evenings, for the constant battering rain, the 45 degree days with gooey leaf puddles, made up for everything.

We took Peanut to the north park nature center today, kind of a wild place in the middle of the city. It feels like you are in the woods, though you can hear the traffic go by and the planes overhead from time to time. It's so beautiful and serene. And what's fun is being able to let peanut run free because there are no cars to worry about or houses for him to walk into. There was even some very interesting deer drama between two stags courting a doe. It was quite interesting. I was in heaven watching Peanut enjoy nature the way I do.

I will post pictures later. I want to now but my computer is very slow and I'm not in the mood to deal with it. Downloading the camera takes awhile.

this is a picture of peanut at a different nature center with his mama. She gets him out and doing things often.

one or two brief last notes...I want to without sounding pathetic, say that i really need to lose weight and am looking for some busy person ideas for that. I saw a picture of myself today that I couldn't believe.

Anyway, if you have any ideas, drop me a comment or two. And read my other posts this week. 8 posts in 8 days, and only 3 comments: thanks Leslie, Meg and Kristen!

What I Make

2009-11-07T22:36:00.009-06:00

Got the hedgehog pin cushion started last night. it's from a vintage pattern. J was out seeing Margaret Atwood read from her new book. After cleaning and blogging I didn't have much time before the Peanut woke up and or before tiredness sunk in. But it's all cut out. I only have too stitch it. I don't like cutting out stuff. this was small though and not hard to cut.Anyway, Tho the pincushion isn't complete I do have some projects I can share. I mostly like to make cute things, Dolls and softies. i take a great many ideas from this Hillary Lang at Wee Wonderfuls.

here are some of the things I've made.

bunnies from recycled sweater (wee wonderfuls)

little brown bear (wee wonderfuls)

monster...my own original pattern.

dragon, my own pattern
knight

procraftination

2009-11-06T23:39:00.003-06:00

i have a craft

and i have a blog.

im writing a boring blog post instead of working on my craft.

please comment.

5 posts and radio silence. I'm getting a complex here people.

my craft is a hedgehog pincushion.

i shall post it upon completion. :)

Some random things about me

2009-11-05T21:56:00.009-06:00

me in the early 70's, wish i still had this toy

what order are these in? Stream of consciousness order, of course.

i have never lived anywhere more than 8 years
i was born in buffalo NY
i have a lot of 22's in my birthday. 12-22 at 22:22 hours
i think the 22 thing is pretty cool
i lived in germany for 3 years when i was a kid
i have been mistaken for a boy many times
i have been mistaken for a grandma 3 times
i would rather be mistaken for a boy anytime
i consider myself a poet though i don't write poems anymore
i used to play the flute
i fantasized of being famous until we had our baby
i didn't wear a bra for about 3/4 of my twenties
i used to drink a lot of gin and tonics
when i was little, i cried a lot
i used to live on an island
i was a drum major for my marching band
one year, at band camp is and introductory phrase which applies to me
i wish i didn't look so old
i love positive reinforcement
3 of the places i lived are actually vacation spots: Germany, Outer Banks of NC, Niagara Falls
i used to work on a farm
i was in the army reserves for 8 years
my father was my recruiter
my favorite dog breed is Mix, then english shepherd, then toller, then shiba inu
i have run in one full and two half marathons

me as a pumpkin

me carving a face for my pumpkin

apple orchard

2009-11-05T14:21:00.006-06:00

these apples are delicious. As a matter of fact they are she said. can all this fruit be free?

It was awhile ago now, but we hit the apple orchard this year. It was tons of fun. We always go with my mom and sisters. This year it was super cold and we went to a place in Wisconsin called Apple Holler. A hootin tootin good time if also a bit expensive and commercial. Still, it was one of those times that was super fun, and it's always nice to have a good time with my family, since that isn't always the case. Peanut loves my mom, and she's a good cha cha (that's her grandma name), but her mothering leaves something to be desired. I've mentioned it before so I won't go into it now. We all know I will mention it again as the holiday season approaches and I grow stressed from it.

I love apple orchard day though. It kind of brings out the best of us all. We come together, pick together, try to stay warm together, enjoy the crisp sweet taste of apples and the warm sugary taste of apple donuts together. This year, peanut was so mobile and loved eating his apples. I think this warmed my mother's heart. Whatever happens, whatever ugly passes between us, I like that we have this. A healthy fall day to celebrate harvest, the earth and going forward. We got a lot of apples that day, but since peanut is an apple or 2 a day kinda guy, and i am a apple or two a day kinda mommy, they are all already gone. So we are back to buying them from Trader Joes.

Here are some pictures from the day.

cha cha picking the first apple

My sister's friend M, Auntie M (my youngest sister who is in High School), My nephew K and apples

Cha cha and Auntie J (K's Mom)

Peanut and his cousin K

Mama, Mommy and Peanut

leapin' leopard

2009-11-04T22:52:00.004-06:00

with mama

suckers!!

bay? bay? (band? Band?)

our little leopard on the way to the parade

pumpkin carving on the night of halloween

Halloween was sick house here, but the previous week there was a neighborhood parade and trick or treating in the stores in our hood. Peanut had a blast. There was a marching band. He LOVES marching bands. Sadly, we got the tail end of the band and he wanted to follow them where they were going. He stood watching them saying, "bay? Bay? C'mon? Bye!!"

Sucktober part 1

2009-11-04T09:55:00.007-06:00

If you read my blog, you know that J sprained her wrist in October. That put her out of commission for baby care for almost a week. Her wrist is better, still a little sore sometimes, but better. My blog post title, Sucktober is about how October 2009 sucked. I like to modify words to express how I feel about something. I would like now to include a numbered list describing why I renamed October Sucktober this year.

1. Sept. 29th to October 6th J out with sprained wrist
2. October 8th, J out with Migraine
3. October 12th-14th, J out with Vertigo
4. October many other times, I play catch up at work for missing so many days
5. October 23rd, J feeling better goes to the Museum of Science and Industry and a strap on the Stroller breaks, rendering the stroller un-usable.
6. October 29th, J accidentally leaves ergo baby carrier in a cart at a local thrift store. It is lost.
7. October 30th, early AM, peanut woke us up because his fever was so high we could feel it.
8. October 30th, late afternoon, peanut goes from being happy active baby to listless and frowny. Develops cough. overnight, fever spikes through medicine to 101.9. Worried moms take him to walk in hours at 8 AM on October 31st.
9. Dr. diagnoses Peanut with croup.
10. October 30 - present Peanut recovering, but still sick. won't eat, hates medicine, nurses like a baby every few hours. Cries when he coughs. Breaks our hearts.

I'm not trying to garner pity or say darn my life is real hard aint it. Just that October was a mix between Sick and Suck.

There are good things too.
Peanut is using more and more 2 word sentences. He says "Yes, I do." or "No, I don't" instead of just yes or no. He also says i do, or me do, if he wants to do something that we are trying to do to him (like, administer medicine, or put his shoes on.) Today he sang to a song we were listening to. "if you got 1" by justin roberts. So cute. Sang and danced. I'm in love.

He also got his first real taste of tv and movies. We watched Mary Poppins with him for something to do through his fever. Then we bought him Ice age and Annie. He still prefers MP, and now I have all those songs buzzing through my head again. I like it... i mean who doesn't want

Ain't it a glorious day?
Right as a mornin' in May
I feel like I could fly
'Ave you ever seen 
The grass so green?
Or a bluer sky?

going through their head 24/7?

I'll leave you with that, hoping that I didn't ruin your day
with Jolly Holiday.
If I did I found a remedy for Jolly Holiday is
All Along the Watchtower.

poor sick boy and me, night 2 of the croup.

trying for 30

2009-11-03T21:53:00.006-06:00

Now, it's no secret that I don't post as often as some people do. Part of that stems from the fact that i am busy, part of it comes from being lazy, and then I also think no one reads anyway, but that's not the point, I guess. So even though it's november 3rd and I am going to need to play catch up, I am doing the NaBloPoMo challenge. It will give me a chance to articulate all the crazy stuff that's been happening of late.

And hopefully make me a better blogger.

I am going to take this moment to say that while I mostly write about peanut, I'm going to try to write about other things too, like crafting and maybe even politics, Or to bore the life out of you, my life story.

I'm also trying to lose weight, could write about that as well.

Thursday think think

2009-10-08T14:04:00.008-05:00

fall is here, and with it, a hat

dressed up for the er. and sleeping away.

I am almost too tired to post, but I will. J has been a bit down for the count. Last week she sprained her wrist, resulting in her needing me for Peanut care. (and also a late night trip to the er cuz that thing looked like it was broken or out of whack) She couldn't use her wrist all week and is still not at full strength. I'm lucky that my job recognizes my other motherness and that it's not a big thing like it might be some places. But I am behind as a result, further behind than before. Plus the cost of the er visit. All the stay at home momness of last week got me thinking about how I would like to be home more. (I have 3 jobs, one full and 2 part time) And also, how it would be nice to have more childcare backups. Now, we are not in any position to move, but if we were, we'd for sure start looking, because Chicago kicks us in the buns financially. I said a week or so ago that things were looking up and they are. Jen has a job, and that helps. We are almost caught up on our major bills. I dunno...just pondering.

eating with a spoon.

On the Peanut side of things, he's started putting words together to make sentences, and that's been awesome. He's also saying a lot more, including his name, which is a bit hard to say. He says the dogs name, and has gotten that I am mommy and J is mama. He points at her, mama, then me, mommy, then at himself and says his name. How cool is that. He's constantly a chatter, with all his words. and if he's not talking about something he sees or knows, its, "bado bado lil lil." real cute babble. Then there is: "Nnnnnnno! uh uh.. no way." He also says thank you. and pees...I guess more importantly, he's always TRYING to say new things.

The molars are just about here. They keep causing misery and then not getting here. It's been months I think. Months of on and off pain and mood swings.

In sum, baby awesome. Finances, sucky. life, hectic (but great). I want to leave you with the best blog posting I've read in some time. I hope they don't mind me featuring them on my barely read blog. It's a letter to their son right before the arrival of a baby brother, and it's beautiful. http://webertierney.blogspot.com/2009/09/winding-down-clock.html

sleeping peanut

Monday Moody Mahem

2009-09-28T11:15:00.006-05:00

hat!!

I am moody. He is moody. The sky turned cloudy and sunny all at once, and that too is moody. How many meltdowns this morning, let's see....
y'know...i'm too moody to list them. Let's just say, a bunch. And one was because I wouldn't let him pick up the dog poop. That one actually had tears involved. And him trying to run back into the house. yeah, that kind of day.

picking flowers in the yard, deep in thought.

sleeps with a fist.

remember

2009-09-11T11:44:00.006-05:00

A week ago, J and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. We had a rare dinner out to celebrate. We brought the peanut because it feels right to, but also because babysitters are kind of hard to come by. and expensive. and well, again we miss peanut.

J started a paying baby-sitting gig which is awesome. It's just the miracle we needed to get the bills paid and not feel like we are drowning in bills. I feel so relaxed about it now. Chicago is expensive, but it's where we are now, and I like it here, but I also do think that it would be easier to do this if we lived somewhere cheaper. I have 3 jobs here though, and one of them, 2 of them actually, is pretty hard to come by. I am a service dog trainer. and that's not an easy job to get. I also hold a job in a university, and most unis have a firing freeze right now due to the economic crisis. a few months ago, or maybe even a year ago now (where does the time go?) we were considering moving to MN. Then the crisis broke and there was no hope for a job. I'm glad we didn't move. J and p have all kinds of friends and i have my dream job working with service dogs.

In baby news, little 18 month old had a rough night last night. J is trying to nurse him less at night, but sometimes he gets up and wants to nurse right away. Since he sleeps with us, and is very insistent, there is no sleeping when he wants to nurse and the answer is no. So last night, so J could sleep, I packed him up and we slept on the couch with some water. He resists transitional objects, so i brought his small red furry monster, but he wanted nothing to do with him. "No" he said. But he cried every time I tried to take away the sippy. So I ditched it after he fell asleep. For those of you reading and worrying about P's safety on a couch, please don't. He was safe, and had plenty of room, and we have done this before. He slept from 2 till 643. That's how long I slept too. Initially, he had slept from 9:30 till 1:30. Sleep is hard again. That's what I get for thinking it was easier.

I have an extra dog this weekend. A service dog I'm re-training. P loves dogs and couldn't be happier. Winnie, our dog, is also pretty happy.

Well, for a busy mom, I've certainly said more than I thought I would today.

One last thing, I clearly remember what 9/11 2001 was like, and I wish I could hug everyone who is saddened by the disaster. I guess I will just have to remember them and hope that helps a little somehow. I hope peanut never has to experience a day like that.
yesterday at the park, his friend showed up in the exact outfit pretty much. P is trying on his friends helmet.

Have a great weekend y'all and if you're reading, shout me out a hi, even if you usually lurk. I'm wondering who reads and I have no way of knowing unless you comment.

18

2009-08-21T12:07:00.004-05:00

months, that is!

A year and a half (and a day) ago our little Peanut was born. It’s hard to believe because he’s such a big boy now. He’s as busy as his moms these days and keeps keeping them busy, too. He can run, climb any and every thing, jump, and throw just about everything he wants to. He also likes to help walk Winnie. He can take off his own diaper. He can use a spoon or a fork when he feels like it. And he can drink from a cup, if we feel like it.

He knows lots of words and says probably 40. His favorites are: Ball, dog, berry, bath, shoes, pants, yummy yummy, water, and doll. He uses Yummy Yummy when he sees something he wants to eat. Like a peach, which is another word he says. Every night before bed we talk about his day. I’ll ask, what did you do today? And he’ll say, “ball”…”George”….”Winnie”….”ball”. I know…very interesting collection, but ever since Georgie stayed with us, he mentions her in his nighttime recap every night. Yes, every night. It’s very cute. And I’ll say, Georgie is at her home, with cha cha (which is my mom). And he’ll say, “cha cha…house” He’s quite sleepy at these points in the day. And it’s pretty cute.

His favorite food right now is blueberries, or any berries, really. He likes berries so much, we can’t discuss them if we aren’t going to give him any because a tantrum will ensue, and those are ugly. One can only eat so many berries though. And so they are like Voldemort in our house.

One other super cute thing he’s doing is being very opinionated about his clothes. Twice this week he has insisted upon wearing his swim trunks. And yesterday, he would wear no other pants than his orange stripey ones from Halloween. LAST Halloween. They are too short but fit his waist. They are captured in the picture below. The first is how they fit about 13 months ago when we went to a pumpkin patch and apple orchard. The second is yesterday.

Peanut last october...about 7 or 8 months old.

Peanut 18 months old. Same pants. Note to self: put away pants.

In other news, the experience of having 3 jobs and being a mom has been really hard lately, especially when we struggle financially regardless of the 3 jobs. I have one full time job that gives us benefits. And I have 2 part time jobs...both working with dogs. I like all my jobs, but i miss my family and I miss having time to sew and knit. Yes...I miss being crafty. Oh well. That's life, right?

Since J. got laid off, it's been hard for her, and easy for me, to find work.

Well I could go on all day about him, but I should get back to work.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-29T13:44:00.006-05:00

random summer thoughts

2009-07-17T00:12:00.004-05:00

Hi everyone, we're back.

We were on vacation last week, and though i had a half day off to recover (from the vacation) i'm still beat and playing catch up. I am currently folding clothes, blogging, drinking a glass of wine searching for my social security card, and a dozen other things all at the same time...all the while hoping peanut, who took 2 hours to get to sleep, will stay asleep long enough for me to get mostly finished with most of these tasks

we think peanut is teething...and that's the reason for his moodiness and sleep wars. if he is...it's probably molars and they also make him into a crazy toddler who climbs everything and has no sense of danger...oh wait...i guess that's not teething. He just is such a daredevil right now. And he never stops moving.

He is also pretty talkie these days. On our vacation, we went to mn, on leech lake. one night we were on a walk and i had him in the ergo ( my favorite baby gear item, ever) and he was just taking in the scenery of the lake. It was a peaceful walk, and I was just being quiet, when he pointed to the lake and said "water." At first I thought he said wow...because he says that too...but then he pointed and said it again. I was so excited. It was a wow for me.
BLOG WRITING BREAK

Since that day he's also learned to say: house, turtle, bike, and stick
and he sings to bruce springsteen and also to any spanish language channel on the radio
He's sweet, and active and a heartbreaker. Why am I at work when i could be home with him?

ok, so it's the next day. Peanut woke up and was up most of the night...seemingly uncomfortable.
Teething, I'm sure. Got him to fall asleep at last on my chest while i sat on the couch. poor little dude.

I'm going to end this post for now. Tired. Hoping someone is reading. If you are, drop me a line. This momming thing is hard. I don't know they do it at KJ and the kids.

Peanut and me last year at the lake. He was 4 months old.

Peanut this year at the lake at 16 months. Such a different lake experience. So much fun.

peanut and his uncle M. driving a pontoon boat.

summer!

2009-06-19T10:10:00.011-05:00

me and peanut. crappy cell phone picture.

Isn't he sweet? You should see him at 9PM. It has come the time in the peanut's life which sleep has become quite a challenge. Once asleep, he stays asleep. But getting there is a fight. No, a Fight. A big fight with a capital F. At naps, we wear him to sleep, and we do this for the night-time too, sometimes. But he wants to fight fight fight. Tear off my glasses, scream bloody murder, flail, cry. And this is with me singing him gentle lullabyes or to the gentle sounds of Baby Tad.

On the up side, he's proving to be a very physically active kid. He can climb most things in our house, and he knows how to use one thing (like a bucket) to boost himself up to climb on something else (a bookshelf). SO I guess that means he's smart and knows how things work.

he climbed up this slide about 45 times

He likes to stand on odd things, like a bucket or a laundry basket turned upside down. Also his potty.

Oh, speaking of the potty, and TMI moment...He actually did #2 in the potty last week. Kind of not on purpose...but still. It was awesome. Since we cloth diaper, I have lots of moments in which I feel completely grossed out by poop. I look forward to at least having the poop happen in the potty.

Being in a 2 mom household means that we split lots of chores. But being generally more butch than J and also being a different kind of worker than she is, I am in charge of all things gross. I do the diapers, I scoop the litter box. I train the dog. I walk the dog and pick up the poop. I clean up pewk from said dog, cat and baby (if I'm home when it happens). I do all the rodent, dead bird in the yard, spider killing duties. Some nights, I feel pretty grossed out. But I'm glad we cloth diaper. I'm glad we have pets (though i wish the cat would stop peeing on the darn floor.

Not sure where I'm going with this. Oh well. We've been pretty busy and are gearing up for vacation. I love vacation, but my mother who is generally unsupportive of my happiness doesn't and I anticipate some turmoil. This will be especially true since the vacation is with J's family. We go to a cabin on a lake in northern MN every year. I end up feeling a world of guilt for going every year, but enjoy myself while there. We're driving. It's about 10 hours. 8 to St Paul and another 2 the next day to the lake we stay on.

Last year my mom gave me a hard time about it and I just am not looking forward to that. This is one thing that I know peanut will look forward to and treasure as he gets older. a week of family time with many cousins and his grandpa and his moms.peanut at the lake last year with mommy

This post is all over the place. Anyone have any ideas about family balancing acts?

Finally, it's pride weekend here this weekend and I unfortunately have to work. But I'm proud of my life and I'm proud of my family that makes me a better person every single day! Speaking of pride...one thing I'm doing for pride is trying to discover new gay family blogs. I stumbled upon this one called It's Daddies Plural and found they are having a giveaway. Check it out! And I found them through John and Steve are having a Baby. They have a great post on a bunch of gay families in honor of pride. One of my favorite bloggers is there, which is how I found John and Steve. It really pays to surf surf surf!

mama, mommy and peanut summer 09

B

2009-06-05T11:56:00.004-05:00

Well, it seems like forever since i logged in to blog in and that makes me feel a bit overwhelmed now. Catching up is hard to do. You can't catch up on sleep for instance, and if you miss a dose of meds, you should wait till the next one is due, and though you can make up time if you leave late by speeding, this is dangerous and unlawful :)

But as a mom reporting about my life with the baby, i suppose i can maybe so some catching up, if I can remember at all what has happened since my guy returned from his trip to MN with Mama. MN was fun for my peanut, he enjoyed seeing his grandma and grandpa, and his little cousin. But I guess he didn't sleep as well, and he nursed more, and as a result, we are still getting back into a sleep routine that works and he gets sad in the morning if he doesn't get to nurse (which is most mornings). He gets over it, but asks often even as we go about our morning, eating breakfast and taking care of the dog.

This is what a calm moment in our typical morning looks like. Notice Winnie waiting for yummy food to drop.So what's going on for the baby? He's running faster than ever, has dropped down to one nap a day. wants to be outside all the time, and calls almost everything that starts with the letter "b" (and even some tings that don't) "B?" or "B!"
For banana, he says "B!" and signs for banana....but for other words we have to interpret what he means. B is for baby, balloon, boob (though we don't call them that), belly (though lately, he's calling it a "bee be", um, what else, window, bird, book, bed, bath...you name it. it's um, a bit of a challenge. A good one that i love, but a challenge none-the-less. Especially since this guy is very active, spirited and busy. Oh, and most of you who read this know very little about me, but the truth of the matter is, I'm slow...I take my time. So he gets his speed from Mama and his donor. Not from me or my nurturing influence. He gets annoyed and screams sometimes if we don't know what "B???!!" he means.

on a side note, mamas, mommies, babas, memes, mimis, and dads out there, I recommend a great singer we recently discovered. Check out Justin Roberts. Man is he fun. As I've been blogging this, I've had his "everything else starts with e" song in my head.
Other language victories are his mastery of the word "no". He says it, and knows what we mean when we say it AND he knows that yes or "ya" is the opposite of "no". We've been trying to say no less, since he says it so very much now, but it's hard when he's getting into everything to remember how to talk in full sentences.

Well, I've taken up enough of your time.

what's that in the grass

2009-05-15T16:04:00.005-05:00

I'm a little sad because J and peanut are out of town for the next five days. I'm trying to stay upbeat about it, but it is hard to do. At least they will have fun with grandma and grandpa and p's cousin.

here are some recent cute pictures of my peanut. Oh how I miss you little guy!

with my wonderful partner.

swinging with his unfriend e. They fight all the time.

yep. chewing on a truck.

off topic

2009-05-12T15:14:00.001-05:00

I don't know if I have a topic, but this is off if I do.

Feeling Better, but WAY behind

2009-05-07T10:50:00.004-05:00

Thanks all for your comments! It's nice to feel like I'm being read these days. Blogging is something I've aspired to do for a while, and I guess the whole mommy thing made it even more important to me. But I find it less motivating to blog if no one reads but me...i mean, I know what's going on. You'd hardly believe it if I told you I got my MFA in poetry writing. I have a whole unpublished book of poetry that no one but a select few have read.

So, I am feeling good. AND the pink eye is gone. I'm way behind at work though (not evident by the fact that I'm doing this from my work desk during business hours...bad worker, bad). Today is college commencement. So I have a lot to do. I'm taking Peanut out tonight to celebrate the graduation of one of my students. That should be fun.

I'll try to post more in the coming week. As things settle down. Thanks again everyone who reads and comments. It makes my day when you do.

Peanut proving that yes, he does need a little chair, as this one has a hole in it.

Peanut throwing the ball to Winnie.

Spring Illnesses

2009-04-30T00:01:00.005-05:00

So usually I consider myself to be pretty healthy. We are a healthy family overall. Peanut has had some coughs and colds, and some ear infections, but nothing big since a heart scare early on which ended up being pretty normal and not scary. Anyway, the point is, and maybe as I write this I realize the very fact that I'm in denial here, the point is, healthy...that's us. Well, as the post title hints, not so much just recently. I've been down with sinusitis and my very own (and very first) ear infection. I've actually missed two full days of work. And I don't do that. Plus I had to cancel my dog training class. It was terrible stuff. I think I'm on the upswing though. I've not coughed but a few times in the last hour.

So that's me, and though sick, I still made time to do this with peanut:

I'm trying to get in shape for summer and shed some of these extra lbs. So I walk with him on my back. Carrying an extra 23 lbs on your back is a workout. I just put him in the er;go and um, go! (note: if your little one is big like ours, get an er.go. They make baby carrying much easier) And it's been so nice being home with him so much. J and I noticed today that he's really getting so smart and aware of things. It's awesome.

Speaking of Peanut....Peanut had...wait for it....

Pink eye. I know! try putting eyedrop medicine in a squirming and noncompliant 14 month old. It's crazy fun. Another thing to be greatful for my partner for. Another reason to be glad I'm not alone.

We are watching with amazement the leaps P is taking in his development. He knows things now. He knows what he wants and knows a lot of the time how to ask for it. Language is still creative. He has some really clear words, like tickle, tea, hi, and ball (though he drops the ll sound). But then he also says dog, tree, teeth, head, banana, balloon, and tries to say other things. He's still signing, though he uses the same sign we taught him for potty for outside. That's my fault...oops.

In addidtion, if he hears the word "head" or "toes" he tries to break into the Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes song...pointing at each part...but he waits for us to join in keeping his little hand pointing to his head until we do. Sound cute? It is. Other songs he sings are Irish Lullabye and Itsy, Bitsy Spider.

Ok, and when I say he knows things, I was getting him dressed and we needed socks and shoes. So I said, what else do we need, and so he walked to the sock drawer *(which is on the other side of the room) and pointed at it. He knew what came next!

My smart boy.

Easter Pictures at Last

2009-04-20T11:46:00.003-05:00

I don't have much to say right now. We had a great weekend because the weather finally warmed up. We went for a long walk together and enjoyed playing at the park on on our walk home from visiting a local baby store and a local toy store. We are shopping for a Tea set for peanut. He likes to pretend things and he loves his mama's tea. We didn't end up getting one, as they were all a little spendy for us right now, but we did get the polar opposite of a tea set (in that you throw it and spike it and we'd prefer he not do that with a tea set), which is a toy football in Chi.ca.go Be.ars colors. We had fun tossing it from stroller to street all the way home.

Easter Craft, we made lots of cute things, including a couple of felt "chocolate bunnies:"

Spring is coming..or maybe it's here

2009-04-17T15:16:00.003-05:00

Well, J is out and about with the Peanut today taking in all the warm weather. My office is dark, but I imagine them hopping from park to park, and from backyard to park. It sounds like so much fun. Peanut has been pure joy lately. He's definitely hitting toddlerdome. He can: open any drawer, open the fridge, turn on the tub water, climb everything that he can reach, bite through everything, remove his own diaper (thank goodness for onesies), run really fast, seem like he's not going to run and then run, melt my heart with a smile, tell what things are and what they do, express his opinions.

He's working on his sign still. He knows: more, eat, banana, nurse, bath, sleep, phone, potty, dog...probably more than that. And he says dog, mamma, mommy (sometimes), tea, and tries to say lots of other things.

Yesterday, he insisted on walking the dog, so he held the leash that we tied securely to his stroller. He looked so proud.

Peeing on purpose

2009-04-09T14:17:00.003-05:00

peanut reading oranges are not the only fruit

So peanut (no pun intended) is peeing on purpose when he has his diaper off. He sometimes doesn't, but he usually does, and sometimes it's clear that it's come as a surprise to him. But the boy likes to pee. When he has his diaper on, he does the sign for potty too, but it's not always clear that he's referring to his own potty, the act of going or having gone, or just trying to converse about the potty. I think he gets that his moms think the potty is cool.

Every day when I get home from work I take the dog outside to..."go Potty." So within moments of walking in the door, Peanut starts walking to the back of the house shaking his hand in the air way above his head, and then he points to the dog. Potty, Winnie. Potty, Dog. So of course he's brilliant...i mean, he is right? These are sentences in sign...so smart!

But back to the peeing on purpose he does...he totally does. Not in a potty, since we don't have one yet, but he does it on the rug in his bedroom. Or on his changing pad. Always standing up. We need to groom his techniques but the spirit is there for sure.

I'm proud.

Easter and crafting and Peanut

2009-04-08T10:20:00.000-05:00

peanut, last easter

So it's been a busy month already. I don't know when that's going to stop being the case. Probably never. The weather has been moody and I have been tired of it, and Peanut is getting more mobile and more communicative every day, which is awesome. It's even awesome when he signs for "help" and i try to help him only to be met with a wave of wrong answers. I think he thinks the sign for help is to pick something up for him. He'll sign it even when he can get it. Of course, I encourage him to try to get it first, especially when it is at his feet...I'm not a total pushover.

This will be his second Easter, and I think we will go to church. For sure, my family is coming for a little Easter Egg hunt that we do indoors (too cold for outdoors) and then dinner. Since we're fighting to make ends meet, it'll be pretty modest. But they really just want to see Peanut, and we already paid for him. He loves my sisters kid (cousin k), who is almost five. The feeling is mostly mutual, except cousin k is almost 5 and well, that means a 13 month old holds him back from having complete fun. It's cute to watch Peanut follow him around and mimic what he does. And its fun to see cousin k negotiate the play with him.

For easter, we are also doing a few crafts. A pencil case for cousin k, and the same for peanut. And I'm making my mom a birdhouse from fabric that I was inspired to do from this artist. Mine is not as good. But it is my first.

And then handmade dishcloths. Plus we are making our own easter grass from recycled magazines.

Naturally Nora, Oh my

2009-03-31T14:52:00.000-05:00

We are not doing sugar with peanut until he's at least 2....maybe longer. But for a special occasion, I would do it with this awesome new discovery. Check it out! Naturally Nora

And if you like what you see, go to Gourmet Mom on the Go and enter this awesome contest for a years supply (12 boxes) of natural cake mix and frosting! Awesome.

Another word though, I'm not so sure I'd consider 12 boxes a year supply of cake. But I guess I should. I am trying to lose weight and simplify.

Birthday Report, a bit late...and where did the sleeping go

2009-03-27T11:44:00.001-05:00

first nap as a one year old

Peanut turned a year old. It was a wonderful thing to have happen. Aging is inevitable, but now that he's been in our lives for a year (well, longer now, since this post is really past the 13 months point) every day I think, this time last year, you were just starting to see, or just starting to nurse well, or we were all sick. So that's fun. Relations with my relations are improving again, which is also good. Peanut had an amazing birthday party where we crammed something like 24 people into 900 square feet of apartment. J's fam came from MN, and mine from in town. My mom got a great cake for our guests and with my sister made Peanut his own sugar free carrot cake. What an amazing gift!
Now that he's a year, Peanut also seems to be interested in fighting sleep. He's walking up a storm, signing about 10 signs, screaming when he's mad, and mad when we try to get him to sleep. Lately, we suspect that it has something to do with teething. That better be what it is. Or else I'm not sure what to do.

Peanut and Winnie, our dog.

Lately, in blog land, people who I've been following have been getting pg, and it makes me long for those times as well.

This post is all over the place.Peanut and Mommy...that's me.

Oh well. Peanut pics posted for fun. Birthday pics from his awesome and fun party.

Countdown

2009-02-11T12:25:00.000-06:00

Today begins the 10 day countdown to the peanut's first birthday. We are having a party on the 21st, but his birthday is the 20th.

I'll admit I'm a bit in awe at the cliche that is this year. The speed of it. The specialness of it. The fact that I had no idea how much I'd love him. Even as the "other mother" i am staunchly protective of, physically attached to, and completely in love with this little guy. I can't even imagine how j must feel. I see him and i just want to take him up into my arms, just like the first time I ever saw him. (back then, i was amazed he was so big too....how did that fit inside my tiny girl?)

Last night I was feeding the peanut yogurt. He was eating cheerios too, off his tray. Then he reached out for me to give him the yogurt bowl. It was close to bath time, so I figured it would be ok. Well that kid used his spoon to scoop up the yogurt and put it in his mouth. Not neatly or anything, but I was impressed. Since I'd be the first to admit that while I grew up with a little one in the house, I don't know much about child development, every time he does something new I think he's the most advanced amazing baby ever.

i suck at blogging

2009-02-09T13:36:00.000-06:00

I love my family and my life. I love writing. I love reading blogs, but I'm definitely not one to get out and post very often. Not sure why. It's true that I'm busy, and that I don't want to just shoot off something rushed. But it's also true that I have and take time to read other people's blogs. Am I a reader and not a writer? A Lurker who rarely comments?

I don't know.

I am posting today wondering if anyone reads my blog. If you do, if you are reading this at all, just let me know.

In a non blogging analysis moment, peanut is nearly a year old. I can't believe it. He's walking, signing, putting things together. He kisses and hugs and is amazing.

A tooth

2008-11-21T13:40:00.000-06:00

Well, the peanut turned 9 months this week, which is mindblowing to me. I mean, when did that happen? He has had some major events occur over this time as well. He's great at crawling, for one. He finally, after 3 months, got that one (his first) bottom tooth in. He pulls up like crazy. And he's in his big boy car seat, at last. We haven't had the money for it but it was on sale at a.ll.bee baby. We got a GREAT deal.

I don't have much to say. I'm sick with a cold. We are headed out for Thanksgiving to J's sis in the detroit area. The peanut's first train ride, other than the el, which he rode for the first time last weekend, when we went to rally for marriage equality (his first rally too).

See if you can see that tooth.Also for your viewing pleasure, behold the boy who does his own diaper laundry.

Where have I been?

2008-11-09T20:44:00.002-06:00

It's been so long since I've posted. Peanut has gone from sitting to scooting backwards and now, almost crawling. It's kind of awe-inspiring how much he learns and how much he changes every day. As i've mentioned, I am the working mom. We spend our time together in the mornings so J can sleep, and so she can ready herself for the day (by getting enough sleep). And then I'm off to work for the day, missing them both, wishing I could be there to see him. We live in Chicago, and my commute is about an hour, no matter how I slice it. It can be less, but it rarely is. Some times J packs peanut in the car and they come get me from work which is awesome.

Right now, J is at a knitting night with the moms she is friends with and I'm at home with peanut, who is asleep. His new bedtime is 7:30. That's the nice thing about daylight savings time. What isn't as nice is the morning at 5:30. But it helps me get to work more on time.

Where else have I been?

Apple Orchard

Visit with J's Nephews,

Peanut's first Halloween.

Election 08

Amazed at my crawling, standing, hugging clapping really cute baby.

Sad that he's growing so fast.

Dog training

being a mom.

oh, and crafting.

St. Paul

2008-09-30T16:51:00.000-05:00

We have been back from ST. Paul for just about a week now and I've been too busy catching up and getting new tires and other car things to update this page. We had a great time in ST. Paul. It was fun to see peanut so engaged with so many people. He really lit up every room. Jen's mom taught him "high 5" and how to clap, and he actually used the clap on his own to clap for winnie the other day when we told her "yay" for leaving one of the baby's toys alone. He's so smart. He's been getting better at sleeping and moving around. He scoots (slides) backwards on the floor. We're still getting used to feeding him solid foods, but it's happening at least once a day. He likes pears the best.

We also got to meet the peanut's cousin, which was awesome. He was so cute and small, oh, my. I don't remember when peanut was that small. He was fascinated by the wee baby and I can't wait to see them in the future, wrestling and playing.

I also finished another peanut elephant for the new baby. That makes 3. i modified the tail on this one, making a flannel tail sewn on with the machine instead of the original that has a yarn tail sewn on with an upholstery needle.

Chicago, a test

2008-09-24T12:24:00.000-05:00

J & I moved here about 5 years ago from Pittsburgh, where we went to Graduate School for poetry (and where we also met, 2 poets, on their way up into dreamland). We moved for culture and for adventure, to be closer to St. Paul (than Pittsburgh, which is twice the distance), and for a wealth of other reasons. And it has culture, and adventure, and it's a gorgeous city, and i love the people here. But I have to say, Chicago is a hard city to live in, and I'm currently failing its test.

I don't hate it here...not that, but I feel like Chicago is constantly testing us, constantly seeing if we're worthy of it. Being on mostly one income now has brought this point even closer to the surface. We just don't have the money to pay for Chicago's costs anymore. Between parking tickets (late by 2 minutes to a parking meter, and a zone i used to always park in turning into zoned parking), speeding ticket (screaming hungry baby, and I'm not the milk mom), and other fees and the sales tax at 10.25% it just feels like Chicago is constantly saying to us that we can't afford it here. I don't like to complain about money. I feel like we are the luckiest people on earth with our son, but at the same time, I just wish Chicago would give us a break. We just got back from a trip to St. Paul, which was fabulous. I love St. Paul. But I got into the car yesterday to find that I had a tire problem. Took it in to the dealership to find that we have 2 unrepairable tires. TWO! The car is 7 months old. Nails in the sidewalls. So now on top of everything else, I have to figure out how to get that into the budget. I wish I could ticket Chicago for the tires. All the construction, I'm sure that the nails came from that.

Don't get me wrong Chicago, I love you. But where's the loving me back?

I'll post more about St. Paul on a later date. I just got struck by the Chicago test again, and I had to say something.

Tuesday Tired

2008-09-16T14:15:00.001-05:00

So the Peanut was up every hour last night, or that was how it felt anyway. He's definitely teething, and maybe growing too. Regardless, it makes for a rough nights sleep for his moms. It's tuesday, and i also have to go to the dentist, yuck, so that's no good. Or if the peanut is reading this, mommy gets to go to the dentist, yeah! (we want to make sure he has positive feelings about the dentist since his moms are both dentist phobics)

Peanut's visit at my moms went well. He was charming and well received. This weekend we are headed to St. Paul to visit J's family. Her brother has a new babe and we're going to meet him for the first time. Peanut is excited.
I have a lot of crafting to do before that, and I'm not sure when I'll slip that into my day. I'm at work now, stealing from my job a few minutes to post this to the world. I want to make the new baby an elephant from Hilary Lang's pattern. Aptly named peanut. Here is the one I made for my Peanut.
I also made one for his friend noah. New baby's will be white with this cute nursery themed pattern. I'll post pics later on.

So today, in sum: dentist, tired, crafting anxiety.

Oh, wait. I want to post a picture of the dog. This is Winnie, or as she likes for people to know, the one they used to love the most before the baby.

Here she's waiting for food to drop. Peanut is eating, and she knows this means good things for dogs.

The rain in the plains

2008-09-13T18:53:00.000-05:00

Rainy Day. Today is my peanut day. I get most responsibility for peanut on saturdays and sundays. I love it and it also wears me out. He's napping now and j is out shopping for stuff we need. We all went to target earlier and finally got the fp space saver high chair that we've been wanting. So different from what we thought we'd want before peanut was born when we wanted a wooden one that was twice the price. This one was on sale so that was super cool.

this blog is boring and i don;t know why anyone would want to read it.

we might go to the renegade craft fair tomorrow, if the rain quits. otherwise, just a quiet day at home and i'll try to take peanut over to my moms for a visit, which is always hard...but that's life.

alright. i am typing in the dark right now. and so i guess i should go check the laundry.

new blog

2008-09-12T12:58:00.000-05:00

well, here i finally am, creating my blog. Not sure i like the title i chose, but not having a title is why i've been not doing it for so long. I've been here searching and reading blog-land for some time, and now I've decided to add my voice out here.

I am a mom, a proud lesbian mom raising a son with my partner who works out of the home. He will be 7 months old in a week. I'll be calling him peanut. and my partner, I'll refer to as j.
maybe I'll be less discreet in time. I'm so new to this blogging thing. And new things are scary.