NaBloPoMo: What goes through my head When I come to write a post

I have been gone for quite some time and a lot has happened. That is part of why I am doing this November Blog a day. I stopped blogging and I wish I hadn't. I have composed blogs in my head...thought of witty things I might post on my blog, but every night, I spend too much time canning, or too much time on facebook, or some other nonsense, and I end up with the words in my head but nothing behind them.

I have been gone for some time because a lot has happened and I am lazy.

If you knew the half of it, you might not come back if you were me.

The good news is, all the things I love the most are close to me...well, that's not true.

The good thing is, J and E are still here and we are a family.

A lot has happened. Some people are not as lucky as I am.

Here is a list of things that have happened:
A relative came to live with us but was able to return home.
Our dog died.
Our cat went missing for almost 24 hours
We got a new dog.

Winnie (l) and Ruby(r) before Winnie died

My work situation got super super crazy.
I stopped believing in myself.
I stopped thinking about tomorow.
I started to again.
I got a little sick and ended up in the hospital.
I lost sleep over smallish and biggish things.

One theme that happened through seveal of these "stories"? X-rays. Yep. X-rays and ultrasounds and ct scans. To or not to. And to what end.

I will leave that at that for now.

I am changing the mood of my blog by free writing in this way. I don't care if you don't like it.

That's not true. I do care. But I want to write something other than texts to friends and facebook status updates. So I am writing this.


I have been gone for quite some time. I have missed being here to blog about my life. I have another blog which is equally neglected. Perhaps I will blog there weekly too for November.  If I do, I will start that on the weekend.


I have been gone.
a lot has happened.
how are you.

PS: I started this post before November 2nd. 

to blog or not to blog...

that is the question

whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
in private the slings and errors of outrageous toddlers
or to take up blogging against a sea of diapers
and by reporting, clean them. to write, to post
no more -- and with a post we say we end
the headaches and the thousand natural shocks
our nerves are heir to -- tis a conversation
blogged as much as wished. to write to post
to post perchance to read. Ay there's the rub,
for in that post that's read what comments may come
when we have gathered all that we have said
is there some meaning? There's the respect
that makes meaning of the insanity of a day so long.
For who would bear the bites and kicks of life
the incessant repeating of elmo's song, the peed on opportunity
the pangs of despised love, the laws delay
the insolence of toddlers and the spurns
the patient cat who is unworthy takes.
When we ourselves might invite others to quiet us
with a honest blog post.

I'm coming back

and I have a lot to update on. Big life stuff. not much (any) crafting, but lots of other things. If you ever read me, please keep me on task to do this update. I feel like I need to blog. Even if I don't have time to very much anymore.

E is 2. and so smart and so fun. Here is a picture of him. He's changed so much.


he did his own hair here, and ate too much sugar.


a visit to the zoo during our week on our own, that's for the update, but i love this picture.

also from our week on our own. He's walking the dog and dressed in an outfit of his own design.


Us saying goodbye to mama.


Kicking back in jammies in the yard on st. pats day.

Hernia, furloughs, birthday countdown, and where the hack i've been

could they BE any sweeter?

Ok. So I've been away forever. Literally. Well, literally, a month. it feels like forever though. I've been away trying to work more efficiently at my job. That means no blogging at work. Would I actually ever have blogged at work? guilty. yes.

Because i work for a state university that is struggling through a financial crisis right now, I decided my job wasn't so much of a sure thing anymore. Why do I think this? well, it's a combination of them telling us so AND the furlough. We are all being furloughed 4 to 10 days. Thus the never blogging. That coupled with the fact that I've been doing more hours for the dog training and also coupled with the fact that my little baby is quickly approaching his 2nd birthday (which means a lot, but it means he's taking off in all kinds of directions). Link with that the fact tat J has been sick a bunch, her job ended so I'm working more hours and we're trying to sell stuff to make up or a 2 source income loss (furloughs and a lay off).

Then on Thursday of last week, something more happened. I woke up with a bad stomach ache. I felt bloated and sore al at once. Looked at my stomach and low and behold, I had a lump protruding from underneath my belly button. What the? I suffered through it Thursday. made an appointment with a new Dr. for the beginning of march and carried on. In discomfort. I also had a cold. I was coughing a lot. Every cough hurt. Went home. told J. She was like, well, maybe you should see a Dr. before that. I thought, eh, maybe. Friday. more pain. larger lump. Ok. So I went to the er to find that my suspicions were correct. I had an umbilical hernia. My brother had one too, last year, so I guess it must be genetic. They tried to push it back in. OUCH. When they couldnt, they decided to admit me and correct it surgically. Great.

What does this mean? Well, it means a lot o things. I'm on sick leave for the week. I am recovering from minor abdominal surgery. I get lots of rest, lots of olympics. I have a more normal looking belly button than I've had in years (see, it was looking funny for a while. it just started with the hard lump on Thursday).

Oh, and I can;t pick up anything heavier than a gallon milk carton for 6 weeks. E. is about 30 pounds. Which means J is on duty 24 7 and i can only talk to him. and kiss him. it's very hard. He's a very physical kid, and I find myself really missing him.

His birthday is Sat. and we have J's parents coming from MN. My mom and fam (who have been great through all this hernia business) will come too. But that's it. Small party. I can't believe he's going to be 2. He talks like crazy now (4 to 6 word sentences) and uses the potty a little. He knows when he has to poop, but has a hard time with pee. Sometimes he makes it to the potty, sometimes not. But every time is a win. And we're not in a huge hurry at all. We have switched to disposable diapers till I'm better. I'm the diapers washer, and J doesn't need that to add to her duties. The laundry is in the basement. Sorry environment.

Well this post is everywhere. For real, I hope that the promised squirrel will be done this week. I've been pretty remiss, but also, pretty overwhelmed for as long as I can think Sorry Leslie. I hope you still feel like a winner and are still reading.

Some recent cute pics!

table surfing. kid loves to climb

cousins

Hope

I have too much going on to write right now, but I wanted to put this out to any crafty people out there. Also to anyone who likes to buy handmade crafts. There is a website and an etsy shop that is donating 100% of it's proceeds to Doctors without Borders for Haiti. I am going to make some stuff for the shop. I'll letcha know more when I actually get it done.

for now visit the store and the site. and do what you can.
http://crafthope.com/2010/01/craft-hope-for-haiti/


let me never forget how safe and lucky I am.

Holiday 09

wa hoo. that's what this amazing toy santa brought is called. If you have a kid this age, get one.



December 28th

Well, I've been away from blogging for a while and part of that is to do with the utter lack of time and the preponderance of things to do. But it's also because I've been on a digestive rollercoaster since Christmas eve....maybe before. Maybe my body is looking out for me so I don't overdo it on cookies and candy, but I can't eat much. At around 2 AM Xmas morning, while I was sewing a doll for my mom I could no longer deny I felt bad. What happened next was a 12 hour hell fest of many visits to the porcelain deity, constant nausea, and well, we had to un-invite my family over. We had to cancel christmas. Not for the almost 2 year old, but for everyone else. I haven't felt this sick in a very long time. Given the fact that I was under the weather for a few days, I am sure it was a bug. But it was a lot like food poisoning.

Despite all that, I managed to make some great stuff, most of which I forgot to photograph. I'm still working on the felt nativity set for peanut. Made of felt and fabric scraps. I made my sister a glasses case, quilted, to protect her sun glasses, and my mother an art yoga doll, which she was a bit surprised by at first...not in a good way. The hedge hog for my sister my law, a shirt for my brother.

my brothers bills shirt that i made, by request!!

the hedgehog pin cushion...if you've been reading for a while, you know this is a long time coming.

BLOG POST interrupted..........picked up again 12-31....................by the flu. Seriously, while I was writing this, peanut woke up. I tried to go get him back to sleep, but he was fussy, and I got him up. Moments (and I mean moments) later, he threw up all over me and all over the living room rug. Now I was just recovering from the Xmas stomach flu. So I'm surprised how well I handled it. Also I was surprised at the volume. O Man.

Today was his first day back in the OK.

He lost weight, was really sad and threw up a lot. Worse yet, J came down with it a few hours later. So not one but 2 sick people in the house.

So I hope you all forgive me for bowing out of blogging until January. I have to get to wrk on the big craft of the xmas season. Stay tuned for that.

but before I go, I will say that the peanut has a verbal breakthrough. He talks all the time. His cute new thing though is to call himself peanut. And he says it so cutely.

where?

lights from our adventure at the zoo.

I've been completely remiss of late, not posting, not commenting. It's like I did the 30 posts in 30 days challenge (I think I did 29) and then i dropped away with little else said. I've actually been quite busy. That's the reason for my absence. Quite busy, and some of the things that fell off behind my blogging efforts needed to be caught up on. Like folding laundry. and other stuff. Seriously, i've barely even been on facebook.

So what has been going on? Our staycation was awesome. Then it ended and the week that followed was hell on wheels. Just busy and too fast. Peanut has decided to nurse all the time again. And is going through a Mama period, so I miss him, but I know it will change eventually. I just get a few fewer hugs and cuddles.

He had a well baby appointment and that was good. He is 26 lbs now...and I forget all the other vital information. He got a DTP booster and didn't even cry. Just looked at it, and then at the nurse. Said owie. He got a bandaid and that was it. J had to work so I had to take him myself. The hardest part was getting his weight and measurements since he didn't have time to transition into the room. He kind of freaked out because he was afraid. Poor guy. He made it, but he didn't like it. He did have a rather swollen spot on his leg from the injection for a few days. It went away and he seems fine now. oh, and aparently he has an extra tooth. Anyone ever hear of such a thing? It's coming in a little sideways between 2 other teeth. Good times.

This weekend, E's cousin K (who is 5) came over and stayed the night on Saturday. That was fun, as e loves his cousin. I feel bad though, because e beats on k, and k is so nice and well behaved he never fights back.

Other than all that, and folding long ago cleaned laundry, I've been working out some sketches for the squirrel. It's fun making a squirrel. My dogs loves them. I may have to make her one too.
I've also been making a lot of bread. If you want to feel like a total kitchen genius, learn how to make "artisan bread in 5 minutes a day". It's Delicious and super easy.

Ok, I'm supposed to be doing something else. I better get to it.
Thanks for reading and understanding that I'm busy!! I'll try to post more again soon.


evolution? or just another human?I love this human!!






hugging the baby gorilla

Thanks for calling me out of my cave of silence, Kristen!! You look great!!!

i (nearly) did it

i missed a couple of posts, but I do have close to 30 posts in 30 days.. Yeah me. 

sleep is for the weak

that's what peanut said yesterday, at nap time. Oh, he slept....but only for about 20 minutes.  

the beautiful start to a very short nap

Then he was up up up to party.

We went to my moms. A first in many years. We usually go to Detroit but the people we see there, J's fam, moved too far away to visit at thanksgiving. 

Dinner at my moms went better than I thought. E melted down a bunch, but when you skip a nap, that happens. He was super cute with his cousin and ate turkey, which is a big deal because he doesn't like meat very much.

 

yyyyyyuuuuuum!

with  the cousin

This good holiday makes me feel cautionarily optimistic about christmas. We are in town for both holidays this year. certain people i know who d not live in my house are a little stressie and sad at christmas, but it comes out as anger.

More on that later, or not.

For now, I'm going to leave it with the fact that we had a great holiday!

did you hear about the giveaway? You only have a few more days to enter to win your very own custom made softie. See the give it away now post for more details!

hard day

today was so hard it felt like a monday. to top it off, it rained all night making my poorly designed bus commute home quite soggy, and annoying. without going into detail, I'll just say that sometimes things come up at work that are difficult to address and they become a headache for me. What I dislike --oh come on, Sarah-- what I hate the most is when an emergency comes up at 4 and i have to fix it before i go. many of you who read this might be thinking i have a poor work ethic. I might. I might. But that's only because I want to be home with my fam. But at any rate, I did stay at work late and then I had my usual hour plus commute. got to see the peanut for about 40 minutes before bedtime.

I really have to get cracking with my crafting. I have lots to make.

still no poptarts

Another weekend

As the weekend comes to a close, and I sit here, sleeping baby in bed with the start of a cold, Sleeping partner on the couch, surrounded by clean but not folded laundry, i wish we had another weekend that started tomorrow. Alas.

I'm sure everyone hopes for such things.

I made bread today and mixed up a new batch for the week. I really enjoy making bread.

Oh, and I don't know if any of my readers use cloth diapers, but if you do, have you ever had a problem with leaking? Ours are suddenly not very water proof. Which sucks a lot.

We were lucky enough to have warm weather again today. Walking without a heavy coat in mid november is fabulous.

Alright.

could i free associate more than this?

Ripple Effect

I don't post about her often, mostly because I like to respect her privacy. But she gave me a beautiful son, she shares her life with me, takes care of our son while I work, and in the meantime is amazingly talented. She supports and encourages my creative endeavors, but has a whole bunch of her own. There is the novel of course, but this post is dedicated to her crochet. Before e was born, she made him a blanket. And just recently she made me one too. They are ripple blankets and so warm and cozy. They are not easy to make and crochet is time consuming. Each color is carefully planned and executed. And I love that it brings her joy to make them, since they take a long time to make and are luxury.

here they are:

e's

mine before it was done

e in his kitchen. a $15 yard sale find. Yep, she found it. See, amazing.

Impressive, very impressive

mommy & e one Sunday morning

Well first of all I want to say thanks to those of you who are taking part in my give away adventure. It means a lot to me. Other than wanting to thank you for reading my blog, I think that the giveaway is a chance for me to do what I've been meaning to do for some time...invent my own pattern. If you haven't signed up, there is still time! Details?

What's this about impressive? Well, J inspired me to do the post everyday thing because she undertook the NOV challenge to write a 50,000 word novel. She started nov 1st and she has ALREADY exceeded that goal. So yeah j!!

in an abrupt change of subject, we are hand making a lot of gifts this year,and I've been researching patterns. How cute is this? I totally want to make it for e.

Give it away give it away give it away now

Ok. For all my readers, yes, even you, I am offering a super fun for me and you (yes, you) giveaway. Not familiar with the concept giveaway on a blog? It's simple, I offer something, and you all, all my readers, you all comment, post about the give away on your own blogs, sign up to follow me, that kind of stuff (full details below) and on a given date (in this case, December 1st) a winner will be announced. Winner will be picked randomly.

Now, why is my (MY) giveaway special? Well, I'm giving you the chance to tell ME what YOU want. That's right. But wait...it's not, "i want an eye-phone." the giveaway will be a dance peanut softie and this gives you chance to think up a softie you want to see, and have me take a swing at creating it.

Winners will be selected randomly. You have to enter to win.

several ways to enter.

• need some ideas? ask your kids, tell me your dream monster, think of a ridiculous combination (cat-horse or, um, elephant-fish --you know a fishaphant)

• what the hecks a softie?

• where's peanut? you're sweet to ask. asleep right now, but here he was in a leaf pile.

How to enter the "Dance Peanut Softie Adventure Giveaway":

1. Comment on this post and leave a detailed suggestion for a softie, for ex.: "wow sarah! I'm so excited about this giveaway that I wet my pants. Please make a rhino, a pink one."

a comment will give you one entry

2. if you Follow me that will give you 1 MORE entry. (but only if you comment. I wont know what to make you, otherwise.

3. Post about this Dance Peanut Softie Adventure Giveaway on your blog and that will get you 2 more entries.

So you could have a potential of 4 entries!!! right now, based on current comment trends, that would really make you have an unfair advantage, dear reader. But i won't tell if you won't tell.

full disclosure: since i started posting every day, I have felt a need to receive more comments than i generally do (oh, seeker of approval). I'm hoping this giveaway will bring quiet readers out of the woodwork and will also draw more readers to my blog.

And for those of you wondering, still no pop tarts. Today was hard but my resolve was strong.

thwartsville

i do, i do....i do, i doooooooo.

thwart

1. To prevent the occurrence, realization, or attainment of: They thwarted her plans.

2. To oppose and defeat the efforts, plans, or ambitions of

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved

Today, I had an early appointment training a dog. I got all parked and got my stuff, went in the trunk to get my alternate bag, set my keys in my bag(thinking literally, "i will bring this bag"), decided 3 moments later I didn't need said bag, forgot keys were in there, closed the hatchback went into front of car again, locked the doors, began to walk away, realized I wanted the bag afterall, reached in pocket for keys, and remembered location of said keys. Thankfully, I had my phone, so I called j right away and she and peanut hopped on a bus to meet me. pretty thwarted. I went to my appointment and it was good. I got out and J and e were just about there. so I met them walking, got the biggest hug ever from e.

The reason I feel like I'm in thwartsville now is in part due to a general sense I've built up all day.

Like right at this moment, I'm trying to blog and I'm having a hard time. i'm sleepy and hungry, but before that I had to feed the dog, before that the cat was pestering me, before that the baby had woken up and was having a hard time getting comfy again. All of that started to happen as soon as i sat down to blog.

other thwarts arts of the day?

little old ladies at the grocery store in front of every thing i needed

peanut tried to thwart everything

ok' I'm actually dozing between lines. I'll post more tomorrow.

blogging AND crafting

Yes, that's right. I am making a stuffed elephant (wee wonderfuls) and blogging at once.

while I was cutting it out, my least favorite part, I made up a little rhyme about it.

josie my cat standing on the cut pieces

E's friend P turned 3

so I am making it for she

soon you will see

this elephant by wee.

sewn by me

here they are, complete pictures. Cell phone quality, but you get the picture:

and day one without pop tarts went off without a hitch...which is to say, I didn't eat any.

Perfect Fall Day

Here in Chicagoland, as everywhere, I think, the weather has been crummy since, well, for a while. We had a mediocre summer, a crummy start to fall with very cold temps and lots of dismal rain. My backyard is a mud pit. When I say that, and I mean dismal, it rained for days, it makes what I am going to say next all the more meaningful. This weekend made up for everything!!

Made up for the days as dark as evenings, for the constant battering rain, the 45 degree days with gooey leaf puddles, made up for everything.

We took Peanut to the north park nature center today, kind of a wild place in the middle of the city. It feels like you are in the woods, though you can hear the traffic go by and the planes overhead from time to time. It's so beautiful and serene. And what's fun is being able to let peanut run free because there are no cars to worry about or houses for him to walk into. There was even some very interesting deer drama between two stags courting a doe. It was quite interesting. I was in heaven watching Peanut enjoy nature the way I do.

I will post pictures later. I want to now but my computer is very slow and I'm not in the mood to deal with it. Downloading the camera takes awhile.

this is a picture of peanut at a different nature center with his mama. She gets him out and doing things often.

one or two brief last notes...I want to without sounding pathetic, say that i really need to lose weight and am looking for some busy person ideas for that. I saw a picture of myself today that I couldn't believe.

Anyway, if you have any ideas, drop me a comment or two. And read my other posts this week. 8 posts in 8 days, and only 3 comments: thanks Leslie, Meg and Kristen!

What I Make

Got the hedgehog pin cushion started last night. it's from a vintage pattern. J was out seeing Margaret Atwood read from her new book. After cleaning and blogging I didn't have much time before the Peanut woke up and or before tiredness sunk in. But it's all cut out. I only have too stitch it. I don't like cutting out stuff. this was small though and not hard to cut.Anyway, Tho the pincushion isn't complete I do have some projects I can share. I mostly like to make cute things, Dolls and softies. i take a great many ideas from this Hillary Lang at Wee Wonderfuls.

here are some of the things I've made.

bunnies from recycled sweater (wee wonderfuls)

little brown bear (wee wonderfuls)

monster...my own original pattern.

dragon, my own pattern
knight

trying for 30

Now, it's no secret that I don't post as often as some people do. Part of that stems from the fact that i am busy, part of it comes from being lazy, and then I also think no one reads anyway, but that's not the point, I guess. So even though it's november 3rd and I am going to need to play catch up, I am doing the NaBloPoMo challenge. It will give me a chance to articulate all the crazy stuff that's been happening of late.

And hopefully make me a better blogger.

I am going to take this moment to say that while I mostly write about peanut, I'm going to try to write about other things too, like crafting and maybe even politics, Or to bore the life out of you, my life story.

I'm also trying to lose weight, could write about that as well.

remember

A week ago, J and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. We had a rare dinner out to celebrate. We brought the peanut because it feels right to, but also because babysitters are kind of hard to come by. and expensive. and well, again we miss peanut.

J started a paying baby-sitting gig which is awesome. It's just the miracle we needed to get the bills paid and not feel like we are drowning in bills. I feel so relaxed about it now. Chicago is expensive, but it's where we are now, and I like it here, but I also do think that it would be easier to do this if we lived somewhere cheaper. I have 3 jobs here though, and one of them, 2 of them actually, is pretty hard to come by. I am a service dog trainer. and that's not an easy job to get. I also hold a job in a university, and most unis have a firing freeze right now due to the economic crisis. a few months ago, or maybe even a year ago now (where does the time go?) we were considering moving to MN. Then the crisis broke and there was no hope for a job. I'm glad we didn't move. J and p have all kinds of friends and i have my dream job working with service dogs.

In baby news, little 18 month old had a rough night last night. J is trying to nurse him less at night, but sometimes he gets up and wants to nurse right away. Since he sleeps with us, and is very insistent, there is no sleeping when he wants to nurse and the answer is no. So last night, so J could sleep, I packed him up and we slept on the couch with some water. He resists transitional objects, so i brought his small red furry monster, but he wanted nothing to do with him. "No" he said. But he cried every time I tried to take away the sippy. So I ditched it after he fell asleep. For those of you reading and worrying about P's safety on a couch, please don't. He was safe, and had plenty of room, and we have done this before. He slept from 2 till 643. That's how long I slept too. Initially, he had slept from 9:30 till 1:30. Sleep is hard again. That's what I get for thinking it was easier.

I have an extra dog this weekend. A service dog I'm re-training. P loves dogs and couldn't be happier. Winnie, our dog, is also pretty happy.



Well, for a busy mom, I've certainly said more than I thought I would today.

One last thing, I clearly remember what 9/11 2001 was like, and I wish I could hug everyone who is saddened by the disaster. I guess I will just have to remember them and hope that helps a little somehow. I hope peanut never has to experience a day like that.
yesterday at the park, his friend showed up in the exact outfit pretty much. P is trying on his friends helmet.

Have a great weekend y'all and if you're reading, shout me out a hi, even if you usually lurk. I'm wondering who reads and I have no way of knowing unless you comment.