Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Monday, November 12, 2012

Rocking with my homies

So one of my guilty pleasures is Rock Band. I love singing (even though poorly) with my friends.

our host

rocking in socks


Well...just like that I stopped posting every day. That's ok though. I don't have much to say today, either.

But I do have a very sweet moment to share. E woke me up today and asked me to read him a poem. Usually he asks for breakfast, or to see his mama. Even TV. So I read him some Shel Silverstein, Falling Up. I was so tired....but it was super special and awesome.

Also, I was tired because I was hanging out with my friends rocking out.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Missed a Day...Oh well

Yesterday was a huge day for "people like me". This is a lesbian blog. I am a lesbian, but I am also a mother. So I am constantly thinking about the welfare of my family. I am a non biological mother. Again, this presents another set of concerns, scenarios, etc, that I worry about and over. What would happen if...insert catastrophic scenario. That said, I am lucky. My state allows civil unions AND 2nd parent adoptions. I am on my son's birth certificate. That means something and it was also something that Romney was trying to take away. Might have tried to take away, because he had a very limited model for understanding and accepting difference. Or he acted as if he did, which is the same.

I can say that I am relieved by the results of the elections and ballot initiatives...even really excited by them.  It was an historic and power day for glbt rights.

As a mom, yesterday was also a long day. Super long. When all was said and done, I was out of the house for over 12 hours. I had to drag e home in a light rain for 30 minutes because he was at a friend's house. It was a grueling day, but then I watched the returns with some friends and all gradually became a lot lighter and righter with the world.

Ok. Time to do some dishes or something.
Enjoy some pictures from election day 2012. 

waiting to vote with me
he was so good and patient, and quiet.
ruby couldn't watch...too nervous

Monday, November 5, 2012

Pre-Election Jitters

I have been reluctant to admit how nervous I am about tomorrow. In lots of ways, whatever happens is inevitable. I just don't know what to expect. I think that this country is great. Like really great, and appreciate the voting process, etc, but I really remain uncomfortable with other citizens who hold the majority being able to vote on the rights of others. Yep...I am talking about the amendments to the definition of marriage, especially in my home away from home, MN. J is from MN...we go there a few times a year. I don't like thinking a place i often go would be willing to put an amendment in their constitution to render my relationship invisible or invalid.

J once told me a story about how when she was growing up and going to catholic school, every week or so the priest would take her and her brother aside and talk to them about how they felt about their parents being sinners, because her father was previously married to someone else and the marriage was never annulled. I thought of that today when I was pondering how our children (collectively...we still just have the one) might look back on their childhoods and our relationships.  For one, I'm not sending e to catholic school, and anyone says that to him has to deal with the likes of me and i am scary. But jokes aside...I want him to know that just because society doesn't want us to love each other or have rights, that doesn't make it ok. Society...the majority, even law can be wrong. Discrimination is wrong, no matter how many people voted for it.

I want him to know that we love him above all, and that we love each other...and our love is why he is here. Not science. Not greed. Not because we wanted to see what it might be like to have a baby. We have loved each other for 13 years. We had him just around 4.5 years ago. We wanted a family. The dream.

In my belief, the biology of it doesn't matter. My parents conceived all but one of us by accident. Heck, I was conceived in spite of an iud. They loved each other too. They don't anymore. But my "oops-ness" doesn't mean anything.  They loved each other. They made a baby.

My right to love who I love isn't on my ballot tomorrow. But I am going to vote for a president who I believe has my back on this. The first and only president who so far has said he supports my relationship.

Now if only I could sleep.

Ruby will watch the returns with me and some friends.

Sunday, November 4, 2012


ellis took this
We went to the Swedish American Museum today. They have a fantastic kids museum area. It was really fun to do things as a family...and we followed it with delicious coffees. The museum is in the Andersonville neighborhood of Chicago which is one of my favorites. We also did laundry and cooked.  A real family day, really.

I don;t have much to say. Just going through the motions.    I will post another picture. I had no camera this weekend so this is an old one.

If i blog tomorrow it will be short. I work 2 jobs tomorrow.
best friends

ellis took this

Saturday, November 3, 2012

what today was like

We woke up. I made coffee. We sat at the table playing with some paper toys. They were these toys, and lots of fun :

Background information: 
I was sick last week. In the hospital then home for the week, taking it easy. E and I spent a lot of time together and now that I am back at work this week, this past week, it has been hard not seeing him as much. If it makes any sense, which I am sure it does, he is more needy for J, even when I am at home, during weeks that I am gone more. I think it makes sense, and I don't like it all at the same time. 

I made breakfast for e. He wanted a PBJ. He usually either wants a PBJ or a Smoothie...depending on what we are doing and his general hungriness. We make our own yogurt and the smoothies are pretty simple. Blended yogurt and a banana, applesauce, another fruit. I have tried adding more protein, but he usually notes the change and declines it. Peanut Butter is ok, but tahini isn't. And for a healthy fat, I have found adding coconut oil does not work. A mom can try. Anyway, today was PBJ. Hey...that rhymes. E is way into rhymes these days. Sometimes he gets it right...other times not, and I'm not sure where the sound similarity is that he hears. Other times it is clearly alliteration. So PBJ...right, and I wonder why he isn't more focused.

Ate a PBJ, played a little more.
Had a fortune cookie.
Took the dog for a walk.

"Took the dog for a walk" is not as easy as it sounds....not the mere simple sentence of taking a dog for a walk. You have to get the boy dressed. You have to convince him the walk is a good idea. You have to keep him focused on the walk being a good idea. Beg. Borrow. Coerce. Walking the dog is a I enjoy. One he doesn't enjoy thinking about or preparing for, but one he really likes once he is doing it. I don't want to belabor it...but let's just is not an easy task by any stretch. Once out, we had a great time with the dog, played with some other dogs at the park, broke apart some seed pods in the prairie of winnemac park. Just fun overall. Went home.

fed dog.
played something. Can't recall what. maybe more with the paper toys. Or maybe legos.

J went to the store.
More playing. Trains I think.

And then after trains, or toward the end of trains, I tried to fold laundry. He climbed all over me and the laundry I did fold became unfolded and that was that. Well, actually that was time for him to have quiet time, since I asked him to not do as he was doing.

Put away trains.

After Quiet time....recycling. We take the recycling out once a week. It had been 2 weeks this time, since I was sick last week. We took it out and that was fun. Did some more laundry.

Ate lunch.

Did some more laundry.

I think you get the idea. I probably don't need to say more.

Today was a long day.
Filled with playing.
Filled with some downs, mostly ups.

Highlight for him was probably finding a small plastic skateboard toy left on a tree when we were walking the dog the 2nd time. It was a tiny toy skateboard, red, about an inch long. It has a peeling sticker with a blue rock and roll guitar on it. It was made in China. I'm pretty sure it is the sort of thing you find in a bag you get at a birthday party. Kind of cheap, but also kind of fun and awesome. He picked up a pine cone to use as the person who would be riding said skateboard. Pretty cute, all in all.

He also found candy, but I made him put it down. It was also red, and about an inch long. e thought  it was a ridiculous waste to put down a wrapped piece of Halloween candy, but what could I do? I could not let him eat it. I thought, as I instructed him on putting it down and reminding him that we don't pick up food off the ground and eat it, about how if it was the end of the world, or if we were post apocalypse, we would for sure eat that damn candy. But i didn't say this or indicate that there would ever in anyone's wildest dreams be a reason to pick up a piece of food from the ground and eat it. I just left it at a simple "no."

This is easier for kids. They don't, I have found, do well with grays...and though I feel like I am telling a lie, or creating a fallacy, I know I must. This is how to help kids feel safe. Set clear boundaries for possible scenarios. It's hard because there are other things I am less clear the existence of monsters. Etc. You know what I mean. Can we really say that there are no monsters? We can't. But I can say that I know my dog would protect us from them. Of that I am quite sure.

Highlight for me...probably the trains. And every hug. And the dog. And the coffee J brought me in the middle of her errands. I love coffee.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Photo Friday

NaBloPoMo: What goes through my head When I come to write a post

I have been gone for quite some time and a lot has happened. That is part of why I am doing this November Blog a day. I stopped blogging and I wish I hadn't. I have composed blogs in my head...thought of witty things I might post on my blog, but every night, I spend too much time canning, or too much time on facebook, or some other nonsense, and I end up with the words in my head but nothing behind them.

I have been gone for some time because a lot has happened and I am lazy.

If you knew the half of it, you might not come back if you were me.

The good news is, all the things I love the most are close to me...well, that's not true.

The good thing is, J and E are still here and we are a family.

A lot has happened. Some people are not as lucky as I am.

Here is a list of things that have happened:
A relative came to live with us but was able to return home.
Our dog died.
Our cat went missing for almost 24 hours
We got a new dog.
Winnie (l) and Ruby(r) before Winnie died
My work situation got super super crazy.
I stopped believing in myself.
I stopped thinking about tomorow.
I started to again.
I got a little sick and ended up in the hospital.
I lost sleep over smallish and biggish things.

One theme that happened through seveal of these "stories"? X-rays. Yep. X-rays and ultrasounds and ct scans. To or not to. And to what end.

I will leave that at that for now.

I am changing the mood of my blog by free writing in this way. I don't care if you don't like it.

That's not true. I do care. But I want to write something other than texts to friends and facebook status updates. So I am writing this.

I have been gone for quite some time. I have missed being here to blog about my life. I have another blog which is equally neglected. Perhaps I will blog there weekly too for November.  If I do, I will start that on the weekend.

I have been gone.
a lot has happened.
how are you.

PS: I started this post before November 2nd. 

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Blogging LGBT Family Day or What you do in a herd

Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2012Every year i want to blog for LGBT family day, and every year I fail. I am beginning this blog post at precisely 11:56 PM on June 1st. I hope it counts.

There are things I want people to know about my family. Lots of things. Do I have time to write them all here? No, I do not.

Who is my family? Well, that's recently changed. There is me, my partner J, my son e (or peanut), and then there is my sister M (she is the new one in the family). We are the family who lives in our small apartment. I work, my partner stays home. My sister goes to school. E is 4, and he goes to preschool. Who are we? We are a family. We support each other. One of our favorite sayings is "that's what you do in a herd." A herd. Yes. It's corny because it's from a movie...a kids movie. In it, these prehistoric creatures of different walks of life come together to help each other. They form a herd..a family. And that is what they do. It's also what we do.

It doesn't matter who we even are, what gender, what race, what economic status. We don't care what people think (well, that's not true, exactly...people do care what people think) but we go on in life despite what people think.

I think we are beautiful.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Monday, March 19, 2012

crazy warm weather!!

I know it's not a sign of good things for the earth, but I grew up in a dysfunctional home, so a good day is a good just have to roll with it. Chicago has been 70 - 80 degrees almost every day this week. Chicago. Not Texas, or FL..but Chicago, in Illinois. It has been wonderful.

Peanut was sick for several days, but it hardly slowed him down at all.

I think I have a sunburn. I love it!

So maybe the world is coming to an end, or maybe it's global climate change (or maybe both) but thanks Chicago for this awesome weather।
p with a dino.